terrible movie quotes: ‘Fast Five’ (aka ‘Fast & Furious 5: Rio Heist’)
“11 million? Sounds like a whole lotta vaginal activity to me.” –Roman (Tyrese Gibson), and others…
Vin Diesel
Fast Five (review)
I’ve gotten behind most of the Fast & Furious movies because they’ve been packed with thrillingly staged action and peopled with protagonists who walk that bad-boy line cagily enough to make rooting for them a guilty pleasure, but a pleasure nonetheless. But something is off in Fast Five. There’s something deeply unpleasant about this latest flick that prevented me from enjoying all the stuff blowing up real good.
trailer break: ‘Fast Five (aka Fast & Furious Five)’
Vin Diesel and The Rock in the same movie? Is that even legal?
January 15: DVD alternatives to this weekend’s multiplex offerings
We know how it is: You’d like to go to the movies this weekend, except the apocalypse has arrived, and you’ll be busy protecting your books from rampaging hoards of desperate readers. But you can have a multiplex-like experience at home with a collection of the right DVDs. And when someone asks you on Monday, … more…
Fast & Furious (review)
Damn if there ain’t enough street racing in this here street racing movie.
trailer break: ‘Fast & Furious’
Take a break from work: watch a trailer… “A lot has changed”? Nothing has changed! It’s the same movie over and over again — they even recycled the title this time! Is dropping the thes really enough to make sure people don’t confuse this with the first movie… or is keeping the title almost identical … more…
Babylon A.D. (review)
I found myself sorta not hating it, and sorta fascinated by it, for about 45 minutes or so. Alas that the movie’s about 90 minutes long.
The Pacifier (review)
So I’m sitting there in the dark with my little reporter notebook, diligently taking notes and formulating theses to support my contention that *The Pacifier* fails as a film, and I think it was during a burst of abject whimpering from the very famous critic sitting next to me, whom I guarantee you’ve seen on TV, that I suddenly and finally realized the futility of life, the ubiquitousness of pain, and the infinite emptiness of the universe that we puny humans on our puny planet in our puny corner of the cosmos cannot hope to ameliorate.
The Fast and the Furious and 2 Fast 2 Furious (review)
I approached my parked car after the screening, I found myself wishing it was something a little zippier than a poky little Saturn, and boy I bet a Saturn would be pretty cool tricked out for street racing. And as I drove home, I found myself wondering if those buttons on either side of the steering wheel would ignite the tanks of nitrous oxide under the backseat. (No — they were still for the horn.)
Far From Heaven (review)
With its lush Technicolor palette of autumn hues and lavish Elmer Bernstein score and slightly stylized acting and crisp costumes of crinoline and taffeta and gray flannel, Far from Heaven is a note-perfect pastiche of early studio melodramas.
