How to Deal and I Capture the Castle (review)

It’s kinda like *Two Weddings, A Funeral, A Baby, and Some Hospital Visits* for Mandy Moore fans, only minus Rowan Atkinson (he was busy with *Johnny English*) and plus a lot of tedious adolescent angst. God, were we *all* this annoying in high school? No wonder we drove our parents crazy.

Bad Boys II (review)

Of course it’s Michael Bay-ariffic in that adorably ultraviolent, homophobic kinda way, all vehicles exploding for no apparent reason and deeply repressed male emotions, the kind of stuff that can’t help but lead one to the conclusion that Michael Bay is denying that he has some serious issues with, really, just about everything he comes into contact with: women, men, cars, swimming pools, family pets, home electronics.

Johnny English (review)

Rowan Atkinson (Scooby-Doo) has successfully straddled the full spectrum of funny, from the sharp intellectual wordplay of Blackadder to the pathos-imbued silent comedy of Mr. Bean. Here, alas, he lands somewhere squarely in the uninspired middle with a character who is by turns bumbling and sophisticated, idiotic and brainy, dorky and irresistible to women, contradictions … more…

The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (review)

This was shoved under the front door of Flick Filosopher World Headquarters, the 4-page document encased in a manila envelope upon which the red stamped ‘Top Secret Eyes Only LXG’ had been crossed out in purple marker, and hand-printed neatly under it, in blue Flair pen, ‘birthday card for JB — please sign and return to FM ASAP’ had also been crossed out in the same purple marker, and under *that* in a hasty scrawl in what could have been the same hand as the blue Flair was written ‘The truth is in here. Spread the word. — FM.’ So I’m spreading the word, though I obviously cannot vouch for the authenticity of anything you’re about to read.

28 Days Later (review)

There was this great TV commercial for British Airways a few years back, in which a guy wakes up in the morning, and the bed is empty beside him, and the streets of London are empty, and offices and shops are deserted, and he runs around the abandoned city looking for someone, anyone, and finally he yells, ‘Where is everybody?!,’ his desperate voice echoing through the uninhabited streets. The idea was that hey, airfares are so cheap, *everyone* took off for somewhere else.

Mystery Science Theater 3000: Volume 2 (review)

Snarksters have been heckling bad movies forever, but it took Joel Hodgson, Generation X’s own Ernie Kovacs, to bring it to TV. The MST3K gang sniped its way through a bounty of awful movies — and were so consistently brilliant over the series’ eleven years — that the phrase “Mystery Science Theater” has passed into … more…

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: The Premiere Episode (review)

With his Law & Order empire, producer Dick Wolf has achieved the impossible: TV with both widespread popularity and cult appeal, thanks to its ripped-from-the-headlines stories and its respect for the smarts of the audience. While new episodes rank high in the weekly broadcast ratings, reruns dominate the schedules of cable networks and the attention … more…

Zus & Zo (review)

Somewhere in the very progressive Netherlands, three catty sisters get a bombshell dropped on them by their gay brother: He’s getting married. To a girl. As their own mother calls the sisters “selfish bitches,” and they clearly are, it’s no surprise that it’s not their brother’s well-being that concerns them… it’s the fact that he … more…

Sounder (review)

It’s fine and warm and satisfying and, yes, inspiring, but this second adaptation of the novel by William H. Armstrong mostly just inspires us to ask, simply, Why? The 1972 original was nominated for multiple Oscars and continues to bewitch viewers today, so why remake it? Kids will enjoy the tale of the coonhound named … more…