On the Geopolitical Ramifications of Big Sticks
Well, it’s no The Rundown, that’s for sure, and The Rundown wasn’t much to speak of except for The Rock and his charm and his charisma and his big toothy grin. He’s still got that movie-
The big stick is, I’m told, a holdover from the original 1973 film, but I avoid Joe Don Baker at all costs unless absolutely necessary, so I couldn’t say for sure. They changed the character’s name from the original — this isn’t a “remake,” cuz no one says “remake” anymore; it’s a “reimagining,” kinda like how in the music biz, “sampling” isn’t “stealing,” I think — because The Rock is the kind of guy who’d punch you in the face if you called him Buford anything, never mind Buford Pusser. Buford Pusser… it makes me laugh just thinking about it, so this was probably a good creative decision. But they went way in the opposite direction to get Chris Vaughn — why not call him Bob Smith while you’re at it? He’s a retired soldier, and it’s strongly hinted that he’s just returned from Iraq, which is where all our crazy action-
See, Chris returns home to his small Washington, not-
So Chris lumbers — heh: lumbers — through town swinging that big stick of his, smashing up stuff that belongs to Hamilton, like his casino and his goons and his car, and that’s Okay cuz if the cops ain’t doing their jobs then it must fall to the one really big guy with that really big stick, and cuz most of the town, except for Hamilton and his goons, thinks it’s Okay, too. Only Johnny Knoxville, a man who formerly set himself on fire to make money, is the voice of reason, pointing out to The Rock that, in his new capacity as the new sheriff, deputizing his best friend (that would be Knoxville), a convicted felon, is kinda how things get corrupted in the first place. It’s funny cuz it’s true, like how over in the real Iraq–
Hey, look at The Rock beat up guys who are without question bad and evil and stinky! Woo-hoo! Go, The Rock!