Year: 2005

The problem with all the “humorous” stereotyping — guys who own action figures are dorks! — and all the erection jokes and all the “naughty,” “sexy” language and all the sweaty desperation on the part of, no, not the titular character (heh: I said “tit”) but the filmmakers (one of whom plays the titular character; … more…

‘I just wanted to do my part and go home to my wife,’ James Franco’s army captain announces in his voiceover right as *The Great Raid* kicks off, and there’s the photo of the wifey and everything right there next to the letter home he’s writing. And you’re like, Ohhh-kayyy, this is gonna be one of *those* WWII flicks, where you’re gonna be able to peg who lives and who dies by who shows off a picture of his sweetheart before the big mission.

No kidding, the Brits awarded 53 Dickin Medals to animals for their bravery and meritorious service during World War II… and 31 of those medals went to pigeons, who delivered messages that saved human lives, and often died in the process. This is not the story of one of those pigeons. But it was inspired by those stalwart wartime flyers.

And then came *Supercross: The Movie,* the long-anticipated filmic adaptation of Shakespeare’s lost play *The Fast and the Furious.* That other movie about heroic young men and their wheeled conveyances tried to appropriate some of that Bardic gravitas by snatching the title, but to no avail, as we all well know.

As a species, birds are pretty amusing, and penguins, with their hobbled, flightless birdiness, are the most hilarious birds of all. And adorable, of course, too, with the waddling and the little tuxedos and all. That’s why *March of the Penguins* is the biggest hit of the summer: because people like seeing cute, funny animals. Or that’s how it started, at least. Cuz what’s happening, I suspect, is that folks are popping in expecting just to see some cute, funny animals and discovering that there’s all sorts of nobility and honor and tenderness and love to these odd birds, these emperor penguins — that they have a story, as a species, that’s weirder and more wonderful than you could ever have imagined.

It doesn’t work if you don’t believe. It’s the mindset that fuels the power of superstition, of placebos, of magic, of religion. It also fuels the power of movies, and in particular of horror movies: Can you let go your skepticism to a degree wherein you can fool yourself into buying — for an hour and a half or so, at least — the most outrageous conceits? You’re only looking for some temporary diversion, after all, not a cure for cancer or the eternal salvation of your soul. And yet it can be surprisingly hard, in the face of movie characters behaving stupidly even when confronted with clear indications to get the hell out of demonic harm’s way.

But ya gotta love the dorks, etc., of *Sky High,* even if they do end up vindicated and popular and beloved in a way that a Generation Xer like me should resent, because they’re funny and so gosh-darned *nice* that you just want to hug them. Such good kids…