Oh, progress is measured in such tiny, sad steps: We have now been blessed with the first grossout gay romantic comedy. Adam and Steve, they met back in the wacky 80s in New York, when Adam (writer/director Craig Chester: The Look) was a white-facepaint-wearing goth and Steve (Malcolm Gets) was a longhaired beglittered club dancer and their first romantic encounter was ruined by — you’ll love this — coked-fueled explosive defectation. Which is gleefully depicted onscreen. Humilation all around, and they parted ways, never to see each other again… until today, when each fails to recognize that the amazing new guy he just met costarred in his greatest dating nightmare (facepaint and glitter having gone out with Duran Duran). The idea, see, is that Shit Happens and you should just deal with it, but what about when the shit is the movie itself? Cheap-looking, amateurishly written, and badly acted, this flick makes the Farrelly Brothers look good: the bizarre detour in which we meet Adam’s outrageously unlucky family is painfully awful, but the weird “isn’t gay bashing hysterical?” interlude is downright inexplicable. Parker Posey (Blade: Trinity) obviously owed someone a favor — it’s the only way to account for her presence here as Adam’s pal Rhonda, a standup comic who was once hugely fat (yes, we are treated to Posey in a fat suit) and still fills her dreadful act with fat jokes that no longer make any sense now that she’s skinny. (It’s just one of the many pointless and unfunny attempts at humor Chester’s script makes.) But there’s no excuse of any kind for Chris Kattan (Undercover Brother), who appears here as Steve’s not-gay roommate. The biggest grossout of the movie is his disgusting lack of talent and charisma.