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You won’t hear this from anyone else, but here’s the secret of the subtly startling *Dirty Pretty Things*: It’s science fiction. Ten years ago it would have been obvious that the lawless world of the film was not our own — today, it’s so close to reality that it’d be easy to believe that calling it ‘fiction’ is a stretch, never mind ‘science fiction.’
It’s kinda like *Two Weddings, A Funeral, A Baby, and Some Hospital Visits* for Mandy Moore fans, only minus Rowan Atkinson (he was busy with *Johnny English*) and plus a lot of tedious adolescent angst. God, were we *all* this annoying in high school? No wonder we drove our parents crazy.
Of course it’s Michael Bay-ariffic in that adorably ultraviolent, homophobic kinda way, all vehicles exploding for no apparent reason and deeply repressed male emotions, the kind of stuff that can’t help but lead one to the conclusion that Michael Bay is denying that he has some serious issues with, really, just about everything he comes into contact with: women, men, cars, swimming pools, family pets, home electronics.
Rowan Atkinson (Scooby-Doo) has successfully straddled the full spectrum of funny, from the sharp intellectual wordplay of Blackadder to the pathos-imbued silent comedy of Mr. Bean. Here, alas, he lands somewhere squarely in the uninspired middle with a character who is by turns bumbling and sophisticated, idiotic and brainy, dorky and irresistible to women, contradictions … more…
This was shoved under the front door of Flick Filosopher World Headquarters, the 4-page document encased in a manila envelope upon which the red stamped ‘Top Secret Eyes Only LXG’ had been crossed out in purple marker, and hand-printed neatly under it, in blue Flair pen, ‘birthday card for JB — please sign and return to FM ASAP’ had also been crossed out in the same purple marker, and under *that* in a hasty scrawl in what could have been the same hand as the blue Flair was written ‘The truth is in here. Spread the word. — FM.’ So I’m spreading the word, though I obviously cannot vouch for the authenticity of anything you’re about to read.
There was this great TV commercial for British Airways a few years back, in which a guy wakes up in the morning, and the bed is empty beside him, and the streets of London are empty, and offices and shops are deserted, and he runs around the abandoned city looking for someone, anyone, and finally he yells, ‘Where is everybody?!,’ his desperate voice echoing through the uninhabited streets. The idea was that hey, airfares are so cheap, *everyone* took off for somewhere else.
Forget that this is based on a ride at Disney World, and a pretty sorry one, at that — know that it’s a wonderfully exhausting, refreshingly unironic, delightfully old-fashioned swashbuckler.
Snarksters have been heckling bad movies forever, but it took Joel Hodgson, Generation X’s own Ernie Kovacs, to bring it to TV. The MST3K gang sniped its way through a bounty of awful movies — and were so consistently brilliant over the series’ eleven years — that the phrase “Mystery Science Theater” has passed into … more…
With his Law & Order empire, producer Dick Wolf has achieved the impossible: TV with both widespread popularity and cult appeal, thanks to its ripped-from-the-headlines stories and its respect for the smarts of the audience. While new episodes rank high in the weekly broadcast ratings, reruns dominate the schedules of cable networks and the attention … more…
Somewhere in the very progressive Netherlands, three catty sisters get a bombshell dropped on them by their gay brother: He’s getting married. To a girl. As their own mother calls the sisters “selfish bitches,” and they clearly are, it’s no surprise that it’s not their brother’s well-being that concerns them… it’s the fact that he … more…
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