Insidious (review)
I can’t help but recall Eddie Murphy’s standup bit in which he suggested — this is decades ago now — that when a scary voice in your haunted house tells you to “Gettttt outtttt!” the best thing to do is leave…
fantasy
Thor (review)
I knew it! I knew Kenneth Branagh was a geek. Oh, sure, he got famous for all that snooty Shakespeare stuff, but deep down, he’s mad for comic books and superheroes and all that pulp-fiction stuff. He’s a dork.
Rubber (review)
A tire develops sentience. And independent mobility. Be afraid. Because it can also kill you with its mind. Yes, it has a mind. And it enjoys killing you with its mind. Be also amused, in a deeply weird, weirdly deep sort of way…
Your Highness (review)
It’s one thing to say that Hollywood scoops up indie filmmakers, chews them up, and spits out McG and Brett Ratner clones, which absolutely happens. But that’s on a whole ’nother level to what it has done to David Gordon Green. Someone took the most glorious bottle of vintage champagne and whipped up Tang mimosas.
Rio (review)
So tediously familiar that I could barely remember most of it after I left the cinema. I’m exaggerating just a tad, but even if I didn’t remember it, I could have told you what it was about anyway, because it deviates not one whit from the formula that we’ve come to understand is somehow “essential” for “family” movies…
Mars Needs Moms (review)
Do kids really need to be reminded — in IMAX 3D! — that Mom loves you and has your best interests at heart when she tells you to eat your broccoli and gets mad when you feed it to the cat instead? I guess someone at Disney figured this was the case.
Hop (review)
The bunny? It burns. Bad.
Sucker Punch (review)
This SUCKER PUNCH from my man Zack Snyder is just like so totally fukkin awesome I dont even know where to start. Who the fuk wants to watch fukkin hobbits gettin all weepy and shit get to the part where we get to see orcs vomittin black blood when there heads get loped off and shit. And its all in the fukkin slomo shit where you can like really savor that shit and make it last. Thats what SUCKER PUNCH is just one long aaaaahhhh of awesomeness.
Lord of the Dance 3D movie review: see it if you’re Michael Flatley, skip it if you’re anyone else
The global phenomenon dance show is like what might happen if Albus Dumbledore used some powerful illegal magic to meld Busby Berkeley, pagan ritual, Cirque du Soleil, and Irish folk dancing… on ice!
The Tempest (review)
There’s a little bit of Hammer horror in Julie Taymor’s messy but thrilling adaptation of Shakespeare’s last play, and there’s more than a little turning-of-the-tables, all of which brings a new perspective on the play, and a new appreciation for it, which is the best we can ask for the umpteenth adaptation of a centuries-old work.
