reviews

There are a bunch of theories floating around the fanboy — and fangirl — Internet purporting to explain why ‘Penelope’ is only getting released in theaters now. It did, after all, make its debut all the way back at the 2006 Toronto Film Festival…

Some people are just meant to be movie stars — they’ve got that indefinable It that makes them glow onscreen, that makes them impossible not to watch.

Oh my God it’s like ’24’ on speed. ’24’ on *acid.* It’s insane, and preposterous, yet not unentertaining, in its own uniquely goofy and ridiculous way.

If a good rule of thumb is that the average generation clocks in at around twenty-five years, then it’s almost too delicious to note that 22 years after ‘Ferris Bueller’s Day Off’ — the definitive Gen X high school movie — comes the next great, generation-defining high-school hero.

Absolutely horrifying…

Bad things happen when you leave the city. Like you discover that the creepy old house you inherited is surrounded by goblins enthralled to an evil ogre, the house itself is home to a goofy brownie who hulks out into a boggart when he gets angry, and more.

Well, that’s how ya do it, I guess: you teleport right past all the boring stuff like character and background.

‘I don’t know what it is about you, but the more you talk, the more you give me the willies.’ So says one of the James gang to Robert Ford, whose syrupy-sweet quality we recognize today as the unctuousness of a stalker…