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An extraordinary assemblage of filmmaking no-nos congeals into a movie that’s not as bad as it deserves to be, but one nowhere near entertaining, either. First-time writer/director Franc Reyes’s tale of a South Bronx drug dealer (John Leguizamo: Ice Age) who wants out is all clichéd plot twists, slo-mo gunplay, and a nonstop, distancing voiceover … more…
Half the people in North America have family stories like the one depicted in *The War Bride*: The grandparent who immigrated, leaving everything and everyone he or she knew behind. Often it’s not a family story that gets told beyond the broad strokes — no one wants to rehash hard, unhappy times; no one wants to recall memories they’ve tried hard to forget. And so the grandchildren only know that Grandma with her funny accent doesn’t like to talk about the old days, and extraordinary tales of emotional and physical journeys are lost forever.
When actors have only their own amusement in mind, it’s sometimes still amusing for us to eavesdrop on their fun. Watching Billy Crystal trying to crack up Robert DeNiro — and DeNiro just about letting him do it — is only sporadically diverting in Analyze That because that’s just about all they’re interesting in doing. … more…
I should probably watch Being John Malkovich again before I try to write this. I’ve got the DVD here somewhere. It’s vitally important that I watch BJM again right now. I could just put it on for a while. I could write while I’m watching it. I can do that.
For a movie about bad dreams, bad nights, and the bad things that can happen when you fall asleep, this is an awful snooze. As small children, Julia, Sam, and Terry (as portrayed by a bland crew of twentysomethings) suffered from powerful night terrors, the vivid and terrifying nightmares many kids endure. Now, though, as … more…
Oh, it’s extreme, all right. Extremely dumb. Extremely confusing. Extremely boring. A group of extremely unappealing filmmakers and extremely self-absorbed X Games rejects — led by the extremely unengaging Rufus Sewell (Bless the Child) and the extremely annoying Devon Sawa — head into the Swiss Alps to film a TV commercial for a product we … more…
Can you believe it? They made a movie out of that insanely inane song. And when I say “they,” I mean the insidious They: our overlords in the military- industrial- entertainment complex, offering us some (supposedly) feel-good pabulum about downsizing, about trading in the corporate fast-track to teach elementary school, about the nobility of the struggling working class, about how we should all be grateful we’re together this Christmas and no one’s dying of congestive heart failure.
click here for Analyze That review click here for Empire review click here for Extreme Ops review click here for Miss Lettie and Me review click here for Nicholas Nickleby review click here for Pinocchio review click here for Two Weeks Notice review click here for Wes Craven Presents: They review
Snarky and sweet at the same time and loaded with cameos of celebs having a great time, it’s even set in the old Muppet Theater, like the show was, with the star on the door of Miss Piggy’s dressing room and Statler and Waldorf heckling from the balcony and everything. I felt 8 years old again.
*Christmas Rush* has all the inevitability of, well, the made-for-TBS Superstation movie that it is, but it has a goofy kind of wannabe *Die Hard* charm to it. Only half the laughs are unintentional and, actually, the best ones are intended. I think.
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