reviews

Is there anybody who doesn’t want to be famous? Sure: those who already are. A 2000 Oscar nominee for Best Foreign Film, this Belgian-Dutch-French production — performed in the Flemish language — proves that a mania for celebrity isn’t a bizarre phenomenon exclusive to the Great Sodom of America. Eighteen-year-old Marva Vereecken (Eva van der … more…

Made is not the film Jon Favreau was ‘shooting’ two years ago in an episode of The Sopranos — you remember, when Christopher Moltisanti fancied himself getting into the movie biz, and he visited the set of a film Favreau was directing starring Sandra Bernhard and Janeane Garofalo. But I bet it was partly inspired by that experience.

Captain Masculine has the hots for Dr. Beautiful, Compassionate, and Demurely Small-Breasted Scientist (voiced by Ming-Na), who has the magical ability to carry her own personal breeze with her. Nowhere can she travel that her lovely and well-conditioned auburn tresses don’t undulate in her individual weather system — it’s nice to know that salon-quality hair-care products survived the apocalypse and collapse of planetwide civilization.

Ah, tragedy. To be young, rich, and ignored by your parents and other adults sounds like heaven, but as we know from too many films, it’s hell. Here it’s the self-proclaimed Lost Girls of a posh girls’ private boarding school, where Mary “Mouse” Bradford (Mischa Barton: The Sixth Sense) is exiled by her father and … more…

‘Dogs and cats living together!’: an abomination of Biblical proportions, according to Dr. Peter Venkman, Scientist. Such does not occur in Cats & Dogs. This is a wholesome, decent family movie about household pets beating the shit out of one another, as God intended.

Wanna be free? Drink a lot. Party. Find some good drugs and take them. If you’re still in school, skip a lot of classes and cease to give a shit about anything. Dress like a slob, and never wash your hair. Exude hurt, and behave like the world owes you an apology. All this will conspire to make you a spontaneous and fun person, and people will fall in love with you.