2007 theatrical releases

I was so tempted to walk out of *License to Wed.* And I have *never* walked out of a movie, not in my ten-year career as a film critic, not before.

I never thought I’d ever say such a thing, but we must admire Bay for being resolute in his inconsequence. *Transformers* works only because it is gloriously, emphatically meaningless and cheerfully, genially brainless. It’s like a big dumb dog — you just can’t hate it.

Hoorah! John McClane is back! Yippee-kai-ay! Right? Eh, not so much.

I wasn’t just bored by *Evan Almighty,* I was actively disgusted that so much money was spent on a film that is so poorly written, and so inconsistent and incoherent that it makes about as much sense as the six-thousand-year-old book written by ignorant goat herders that inspired it.

Michael Winterbottom’s powerful and provocative new film is not a detective story, not a murder mystery, though it takes that format. It is about giving us an alarming portrait of the dangerous and strange new world we’re living in that most of us sheltered Americans can’t even conceive of.

Sure, this is pretty much an episode of ‘The Twilight Zone,’ but it’s a really, really *good* episode of ‘The Twilight Zone’…

My head wants to explode at the woman-hating hideousness of this.