Rango (review)

How can it be that a kiddie movie is wiser and funnier and more relevant than the Coens Brothers’ True Grit? This is, in fact, what a Coens’ animated flick might look like and sound like, if they got an assist from Terry Giliam: this is a deeply weird and deeply demented movie, and thrillingly so.

Drive Angry 3D (review)

I’d like to call Drive Angry Ghost Rider 2: Ghost Driver, except that a sequel to Cage’s previous awful example of cinematic demonic road rage is, in fact, already in production, for our sins. I might better call it Con Air Goes to Hell, because of the beautiful — and by beautiful, I mean, of course, vile and reprehensible — way it picks up the gauntlet thrown down by that violently misogynist film and slaps that gauntlet right at the viewer. In 3D!

I Am Number Four (review)

High school is hard. High school is even harder when you’re a secret alien from another planet in hiding from big scary guys with enormous feet and weird tattoos on their bald heads who are after you for reasons no one really understands. Except maybe that you’re the last of your kind. Well, apart from your alien-warrior protector, who isn’t specially numbered like you are.

Vanishing on 7th Street (review)

The ambiguity of it all is at least as frustrating as it is intriguing, but director Brad Anderson whips it into something gorgeously terrifying, creating a sense of menace out of shadow and darkness the likes of which I’m not sure I’ve ever seen on film before.

Just Go with It (review)

Is it any wonder that is always seems to be Jennifer Aniston, America’s It Girl, who gets screwed by spectacularly selfish men who embody this new American ideal of “Do whatever you want, to whomever you want, no matter how evil, no matter how wrong, and you will not only escape punishment, you will be richly rewarded for your antisocial behavior”? Poor Aniston: She is the foreclosure crisis of the modern Hollywood romantic comedy.

Gnomeo & Juliet (review)

It’s garden gnomes… in love… even though they’re supposed to hate each other! It’s funny cuz they’re plaster lawn decorations and say things like “Let’s kick some grass!” and have a plastic pink flamingo pal with a funny generic South American accent who gives them wise advice about romance.

A Little Bit of Heaven (review)

I had no idea colon cancer was so much fun! You get to lose weight… without even trying! You get to giggle your way through your first exam with your doctor: mostly cuz you’re ticklish, but also, he’s just really really cute, with a foreign accent and everything! It is so fantastic to be dying! Call it the Ass Cancer Life Plan. Every modern girl needs it.

Orgasm, Inc. (review)

This hilarious first documentary feature from award-winning filmmaker Liz Canner looks at how the age-old question of “Why can’t a woman be like a man?” now has a medical diagnosis — female sexual dysfunction — and a pill to cure it. Or not…

Brighton Rock (review)

Call this a thriller of emotional suspense, and one that’s wickedly unsettling, in which we’re never sure who’s feeling what, or why, or to what extremes they’re capable of going.