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Sanctum 3D (review)

Sanctum is extreme people in extreme danger in an extreme place. In 3D! The good kind of 3D. And both Ioan Gruffudd and Richard Roxburgh take their shirts off. What, you need Shakespeare, too, on top of all that?

John Carpenter’s The Ward (review)

Crazy hot girl is hot, I guess. Is there something perceived to be sexy about mental illness? Cuz there would appear to be no purpose here unless it’s intended to get lonely horny guys off on the idea of the tediously banal Amber Heard locked in a depressing mental institution and subject to electroshock therapy rocking her bod.

The Mechanic (review)

The auteur who gave us Con Air, The General’s Daughter, and Lara Croft: Tomb Raider is back, extending his cinema terrible of violent, unthinking nihilism and brutal, pointless action. Oh, and misogyny for fun. Hoorah!

The Dilemma (review)

The real dilemma here is not: Should Vince Vaughn tell Kevin James that his — James’s — wife is cheating on him? It’s: How did Ron Howard get attached to this train wreck of a movie?

Season of the Witch (review)

The screenplay is like a transcription of a Dungeons and Dragons session: better hope you make a high saving throw during the wolf attack in Wormwood Forest! The “performances” are like clueless imitations of Monty Python by actors who don’t understand comedy. And those are its good points.