Underworld: Awakening (review)

The fanboy-wank-material franchise continues! Kate Beckinsale runs around a dank, rainy, gothy, first-person-shooter generic urban landscape. And the blood and brainmatter splatters out at you in 3D! Please to have a cinemagasm!

The Artist (review)

Who does this? Who makes a black-and-white movie in the 21st century? Who makes a silent film in the 21st century? The Artist: Not in 3D, not in IMAX, not even in widescreen!