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The Expendables 2 (review)

What this dumb movie wants you to find absolutely hilarious is random 80s action heroes — this flick is lousy with ’em — now puffy with age and sporting embarrasingly bad dye jobs popping up in deus ex actioner situations…

Red (review)

Of all the washed-up washed-out over-the-hill too-old-for-this-shit action-hero movies we’ve had thrown at us this year — The A-Team, The Losers, The ExpendablesRed is by far the most amusing, the most clever, the most tongue-in-cheek, the most fun (and I say that as someone who mostly liked those other movies).

The Expendables (review)

‘Bad Shakespeare,’ one badass notes with a sad shake of his head at a particularly cheesy revelation about the other badass standing in front of him, and that’s the moment when a little bell in my head went off: Bingo.