Predators (review)
Sort of a Xerox copy of the 1987 *Predator,* with the only point perhaps establishing Adrien Brody’s action creds, in case that Oscar for *The Pianist* starts holding him back from getting good work.
Arnold Schwarzenegger
trailer break: ‘The Expendables’
Take a break from work: watch a trailer… Any trailer that starts with “They are the world’s greatest mercenaries…” had better turn into a parody at some point. I kept waiting for that to happen, and even as it appears to turn into a convention of washed-up action heroes — Dolph Lundgren? Dolph Lundgren is … more…
April 9: DVD alternatives to this weekend’s multiplex offerings
We know how it is: You’d like to go to the movies this weekend, but it’s your significant other’s turn to pick the doings of your date night, and you went to the movies last week. But you can have a multiplex-like experience from the comfort of your own sofa with a collection of the … more…
September 25: DVD alternatives to this weekend’s multiplex offerings
We know how it is: You’d like to go to the movies this weekend, but you just gotta sing, gotta dance, gotta get a B in algebra so you can get into Julliard. But you can have a multiplex-like experience at home with a collection of the right DVDs. And when someone asks you on … more…
watch it: ‘Battlestar Galactica: The Face of the Enemy: Webisode 1’
Well, if there was any doubt about whether or not we’re at Earth, this seems to have settled it: “Nine days after the discovery of a devastated Earth,” says the intro at the beginning of this webisode, “Lt. Felix Gaeta will find himself here.” Here. Okay, then… Oh, my: Felix with the foot and the … more…
Enron: The Smartest Guys in the Room (review)
This is it right here, people: the ‘ownership society’ our so-called leaders think we ‘deserve,’ an unregulated, unpoliced Wild West of corporate hegemony. Fraud, greed, arrogance, powermongering? All part of the game, folks, all part of the game. It’s every man for himself, the way God intended, and God help you if you were so fucking stupid that you let yourself be born with anything less than a platinum spoon in your mouth and powerful connections out the wazoo. Cuz most of us are gonna end up serfs if this stuff continues.
The Pacifier (review)
So I’m sitting there in the dark with my little reporter notebook, diligently taking notes and formulating theses to support my contention that *The Pacifier* fails as a film, and I think it was during a burst of abject whimpering from the very famous critic sitting next to me, whom I guarantee you’ve seen on TV, that I suddenly and finally realized the futility of life, the ubiquitousness of pain, and the infinite emptiness of the universe that we puny humans on our puny planet in our puny corner of the cosmos cannot hope to ameliorate.
The Santa Clause and Jack Frost (review)
Little did I know when I reviewed Jingle All the Way that it is part of a trend in 90s holiday movies in which inattentive, workaholic Boomer dads go all out in attempts to win back the affections of their young, ignored sons. But while Jingle’s Arnold has to resort to a girly endeavor like shopping in the effort to appease his spawn, The Santa Clause’s Tim Allen and Jack Frost’s Michael Keaton have a much cooler alternative: magic. Allen deals in white magic; Keaton’s, unfortunately, is of the darker variety.
Traveller (review)
Why isn’t Bill Paxton a bigger star than he is? Sure, he’s been in some of the biggest movies of all time: Twister and Aliens and True Lies and now Titanic. But I bet most moviegoers couldn’t put a name to his hunky everyman face…
