CGI

The Spy Next Door (review)

3 comments

One wonders what sins Jackie Chan could have committed in a single lifetime to warrant having an abomination like this pathetic excuse for a movie weighing down his karma.

A Christmas Carol (review)

28 comments

Robert Zemeckis appears to have given up making fantasies for grownups in favor of making theme-park attractions designed to do nothing more than shut the kiddies up for 90 minutes, if they can sit still for that long for the dazzling…

Speed Racer (review)

42 comments

Only by the end — when it suddenly turns ‘intense’ and ‘dramatic’ — does it become so bad it’s laughable, and by that point, I just wanted to cry…

300 (review)

72 comments

The first person who uses any aspect of this flick to justify the American debacle in Iraq is getting a swat across the nose with a copy of *My Pet Goat.* Which King Leonides of Sparta does not sit reading while his country is threatened and attacked.

King Kong (2005) (review)

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Words like ‘meditation’ and ‘contemplation’ may seem inappropriate, at first glance, because the standard hack-movie-critic phrases like ‘roller-coaster ride’ followed by multiple exclamation points don’t even come close to doing justice to the heart-revving adrenaline rush Jackson has crafted. Two words: dino stampede. I probably should have put my head down between my knees and taken a series of long, deep breaths to recover from that early Skull Island setpiece, except it would have meant taking my eyes from the screen, and there was no way in hell I could have done that.