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film criticism by maryann johanson, not an AI | since 1997

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Ice Age

Alpha movie review: dog tired

Thu, Aug 23, 2018
32 comments

The remarkable Ice Age setting is all that distinguishes — and not by much — a depressingly conventional boy-and-his-dog story.

| 32 Comments

Ferdinand movie review: no bull, it’s wonderful

Mon, Dec 11, 2017
5 comments

Goofy, charming, faithful to its sweet source material, and all while advancing the standard “Be yourself” message with fresh challenges to gender expectations.

| 5 Comments

Ice Age: Collision Course movie review: where is a mass extinction when you need one?

Mon, Jul 18, 2016
9 comments

The Ice Age flicks are the cinematic equivalent of drive-through nuggets of reconstituted chicken slurry served by a bored teenager in a cardboard hat.

| 9 Comments

from Facebook: watch the new Scrat short online for free

Mon, Nov 09, 2015
no comments yet

[This post is not behind the paywall.]

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Two by Two: Ooops… The Ark Has Gone (aka Two by Two: God’s Little Creatures, aka All Creatures Big and Small) movie review: global apocalypse, you know, for kids

Fri, May 01, 2015
20 comments

This spectacularly ill-conceived movie is what happens when a cheap ripoff cannot even rise to the level of crass Hollywood junk.

| 20 Comments

Epic review: you can’t stop the rot

Wed, May 22, 2013
21 comments

Ironically, nothing feels organic here, and certainly nothing feels magical…

| 21 Comments

fun stuff from FlickFilosopher stats week of Dec 22-28 2012

Sun, Dec 30, 2012
no comments yet

Actual unretouched phrases that people plugged into search engines this week that led them to this site (with some commentary from me)…

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Epic (trailer)

Mon, Aug 13, 2012
no comments yet

Whoa, so beautiful and serene and magical… and then there’s a slug who says “Dude.” *facepalm*

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Ice Age: Continental Drift (review)

Mon, Jul 09, 2012
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It’s movies like this one that make me despair. Because it is going to make a bazillion bucks at the box office around the world, and there’s absolute nothing here that warrants such success.

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Ice Age… on ice! you know, for kids

Thu, Mar 08, 2012
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See lovable contortionist acrobats in squirrel costumes on skates, singing Ice Age favorites including “Ode to the Glacier (My Heart Is Melting)” and “Top of the Food Chain, Ma!”

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