The Expendables (review)
‘Bad Shakespeare,’ one badass notes with a sad shake of his head at a particularly cheesy revelation about the other badass standing in front of him, and that’s the moment when a little bell in my head went off: Bingo.
Jason Statham
September 4: DVD alternatives to this weekend’s multiplex offerings
We know how it is: You’d like to go to the movies this weekend, but it’s the last weekend of the summer and the last chance to burn dead animals on the barbecue — yum! — before the cool weather sets in. But you can have a multiplex-like experience at home with a collection of … more…
August 28: DVD alternatives to this weekend’s multiplex offerings
We know how it is: You’d like to go to the movies this weekend, but you’re still hung over from celebrating the 40th anniversary of Woodstock. But you can have a multiplex-like experience at home with a collection of the right DVDs. And when someone asks you on Monday, “Hey, did you see Taking Woodstock … more…
U.K. box office: ‘Monsters vs. Aliens’ is back on top
Well, lookee that — nothing new can trump the cartoon juggernaut: 1. Monsters vs. Aliens: £2 million (3rd week; drops 27%) 1. Fast & Furious: £1.9 million (2nd week; drops 61%) 3. 17 Again: £1.8 (2nd week; drops 31%) 4. I Love You, Man: £1.1 million (NEW) 5. Crank: High Voltage: £.55 million (NEW) (actual … more…
Crank: High Voltage (review)
Take a look back at everything I wrote about the first *Crank,* and how wrong and evil and amoral and filthy and sordid that flick was, and double it. No, quintuple it. Also: quintuple how much I laughed.
DVD alternatives to this weekend’s multiplex offerings
President Obama may have us all feeling more confident that the collapse of civilization because of credit swap defaults — instead of the way-cooler zombie apocalypse or ape uprising The Movies had promised us — has been headed off for the moment, but that don’t mean a penny saved ain’t still a penny saved. And … more…
U.K. box office: English people like cartoons about escaped zoo animals
That’s the only way to explain it. In the U.K. last weekend, people flocked to see Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa, and not so much else: 1. Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa: £6.3 million (NEW) 2. Four Christmases: £1.5 million (2nd week; drops 34%) 3. Transporter 3: £.96 million (NEW) 4. Changeling: £.721 million (2nd week; drops … more…
Death Race (review)
A nominal remake of Roger Corman’s 1975 flick *Death Race 2000* filtered through the hackish auspices of Paul W.S. Anderson.
The Bank Job movie review: proper villains
I wouldn’t want to live in the world of ‘The Bank Job,’ in which absolutely everyone is corrupt except for the bad guys. Wait: I guess we already do. Sure, of course we do, cuz this is based on a true story…
Cellular (review)
That’s the kind of flick *Cellular* is: goofily obvious when it isn’t unexpectedly exciting. It’s one of those movies that succeeds partly by not being anywhere near as bad as you were expecting it to be — by being, really, not so bad at all, much to one’s shocked surprise. Seriously, I was anticipating two hours of that annoyingly pseudo-hip Elvis Costello-ish guy from the TV commercials who wanders around saying ‘Can you hear me now?’ into his cell phone — and why o why won’t someone kidnap *him*? — and instead the goofily obvious stuff is more than made up for by the suspense and the humor.
