Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets movie review: story of a thousand clichés
There is barely an original thought in this wackadoodle sci-fi panto, just a lot of tiresome passé attitudes skidding among bug-eyed-monster set dressing.
Luc Besson
The Transporter Refuelled movie review: infuriating road
There isn’t a single level on which this crass reboot operates that isn’t a disaster. There is all sorts of stupid at work here, and all sorts of offensive.
Taken 3 movie review: give it back
This is a movie as its own death wish. To call it cheap, lazy, and perfunctory grants it a dignity that implies there was another path it could have taken.
Lucy movie review: head case
In this pile of adolescent heavy-metal-deep pseudo-sci-fi philosophy, the meaning of humanity depends on how “cool” something looks onscreen.
Brick Mansions review: bombs away
This absurd and pointlessly convoluted remake of a decade-old French action flick feels dated and out of step in more ways than one.
The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec review: gloriously goofy
This is what comic-book movies look like when they’re not blown up into $200 million monstrosities: friendly and eldritch and kinda cosy even in the middle of outrageous escapades. (new DVD US)
Taken 2 (review)
If this is any indication, Taken 3 will be nothing but Liam Neeson running around whatever European city ponies up the biggest tax credits, growling and beating up random swarthy passersby who look at him askew. It would be only a tiny step below this.
Colombiana (terrible movie quotes)
“You must expect the unexpected — she’s like mist under a door.” –Marco (Jordi Mollà), about Cataleya (Zoe Saldana)… and more…
Colombiana (review)
Colombiana fofana, Zoe Saldana banana. C’mon, sing it with me! C’mon! It makes more sense than the movie, and it’s more entertaining to boot.
trailer break: ‘The Extraordinary Adventures of Adèle Blanc-Sec’
Oh. My. God. How cool does this look?
