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Battleship (review)

Pretty much the dullest alien invasion movie ever, featuring an uninteresting incursion by nondescript aliens doing boring things and not even blowing shit up in exciting new ways.

Red (review)

Of all the washed-up washed-out over-the-hill too-old-for-this-shit action-hero movies we’ve had thrown at us this year — The A-Team, The Losers, The ExpendablesRed is by far the most amusing, the most clever, the most tongue-in-cheek, the most fun (and I say that as someone who mostly liked those other movies).

Whiteout (review)

What’s a nice U.S. marshal like Carrie Stetko doing in a place like Antarctica? Freezing her ass off. *cue rimshot*

trailer break: ‘Whiteout’

Take a break from work: watch a trailer… Such a gloriously cheesy trailer! Forget 30 days of night — it’s about to be six months of night in Antarctica… and a killer is on the loose! And Kate Beckinsale takes showers in sexy steamy bathrooms! rawr! I can almost hear the ominous voiceover ominously announcing: … more…