Vampires Suck had earned $19,809,739 from its opening day last Wednesday through the end of Monday. When Tuesday’s box office comes in, it will easily have passed $20 million… which is how much it cost to produce.
But here’s the really scary apocalyptic thing: Somewhere in Hollywood, people are congratulating one another over this movie.
I hereby go on record as predicting that the inevitable sequel — Vampires Suck: New Moon — will feature, on its poster, some jerk shaking his barely disguised naked ass in our faces.
Wouldn’t they more likely call that one Vampires Suck: Full Moon? Wonder what “crack” team of writers it will have, hehe.
Nah, it’ll “Blue Moon,” with some guy painted up like the Na’vi. Nothing like too many pop culture references, right?
…right?
…and I continue to weep…
Sorry for the second post. In the immortal words of Harlan Ellison, “the two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.”
The worst part about Vampire Sucks is that the Twilight franchise is SO VERY RIPE for really hilarious parody/satire, but they lob the ball so low it’s rollin’.