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precarious since 1997 | by maryann johanson

totally quotable! 2006: new ‘Last King of Scotland,’ ‘Miss Potter’ quotes

Here they are, the most quotable movie lines of the year 2006. No ranking — newer quotes are posted at the top. [Warning: May contain spoilers.]

“No, we don’t have monkeys in Scotland. If we had monkeys in Scotland, we’d probably deep-fry them.”
–Nick (James McAvoy), The Last King of Scotland

“I shan’t marry — I shall draw.”
–Beatrix Potter (Renee Zellweger), Miss Potter

“It is a well-known fact that fairy beasts never eat a child when he is tucked into his own bed.”
–child’s nurse, Miss Potter
“I think if you live someplace long enough, you are that place.”
–Rocky (Sylvester Stallone), Rocky Balboa

“You learn a lot talking to dogs.”
–Rocky (Sylvester Stallone), Rocky Balboa

“I’m a Jew, I’m small, I’m homosexual, and I live in Sheffield. I’m fucked.”
–Posner (Samuel Barnett), The History Boys

“Can you imagine how depressing it is to teach five centuries of male ineptitude?”
–history teacher Mrs. Lintott (Frances de la Tour), The History Boys

“History is women following behind… with a bucket.”
–history teacher Mrs. Lintott (Frances de la Tour), The History Boys

“I like to get kissed before I get fucked.”
–Danny Archer (Leonardo Dicaprio), Blood Diamond

“The Rock and Roll History Museum in an impenetrable fortress!”
— guitar store guy (Ben Stiller), Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny

“AC/DC, Van Halen, the Who: why are you guys so awesome?”
— JB (Jack Black), Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny

“The demon code prevents me from declining a rock-off challenge!”
— Satan (David Grohl), Tenacious D in: The Pick of Destiny

“Do I look like I give a damn?”
–James Bond (Daniel Craig), when asked whether he wants his martini shaken or stirred, Casino Royale

“Christ, I miss the Cold War.”
–M (Judi Dench), Casino Royale

“There’s a reason why it only costs 99 cents.”
–Mickey’s employee, Fast Food Nation

“Right now I can’t think of anything more patriotic than violating the PATRIOT Act.”
–activist kid, Fast Food Nation

“This isn’t about good people versus bad people. It’s about the machine that’s taken over this country. It’s like something out of science fiction.”
–cattle rancher (Kris Kristofferson), Fast Food Nation

“I think chess is a little bit like life — it scares people. That’s why they invented checkers.”
–John Casey (Anthony Hopkins), Bobby

“Dramatic irony — it’ll fuck ya every time.”
–Professor Jules Hilbert (Dustin Hoffman), Stranger Than Fiction

“You’re never too old to go to Space Camp, dude.”
–a friend to Harold Crick (Will Ferrell), about making the most of life, Stranger Than Fiction

“Like anything worth writing, it came inexplicably and without method.”
–Karen Eiffel (Emma Thompson), Stranger Than Fiction

“We support your war of terror!”
–Borat Sagdiyev (Sacha Baron Cohen), Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

“I think you’re giving too much credit to the American public — they’re not that smart.”
–the Dixie Chicks’ publicist, on whether people will understand the ironic magazine cover depicting the Chicks branded with epithets like traitor, Shut Up & Sing

“The truth is a slippery notion in our line of work.”
–Alfred Borden (Christian Bale), to Robert Angier, The Prestige

“You’re a magician, not a wizard.”
–Cutter (Michael Caine), to Robert Angier, The Prestige

“Imagine what a brussels sprout would sound like if a brussels sprout could talk.”
–Gore Vidal (Michael Panes), on Truman Capote, Infamous

“I’m indestructible, much to everyone’s regret.”
–Truman Capote (Toby Jones), Infamous

“Imagine being told your work is ‘unkind’ by a four-time killer.” –Truman Capote (Toby Jones), on Perry Smith’s critique of his books, Infamous

“Twenty years after an Irishman couldn’t get a job, we had the presidency, god rest him.”
— Irish-mob boss Frank Costello (Jack Nicholson), The Departed

“My theory on feds is like mushrooms: you feed ’em shit and keep ’em in the dark.”
–State Police Sergeant Dignam (Mark Wahlberg), on the FBI, The Departed

“It’s terrible and wonderful at the same time! It’s like freedom in a cup!”
–Elliot the deer (Ashton Kutcher), on coffee, Open Season

“The brain is the most complex thing in the universe, and it’s right behind the nose.”
— Stéphane (Gael García Bernal), The Science of Sleep

“Things were going so well with us…”
— Roger (Jon Heder), about his relationship with Amanda
“Yeah, I’m sure you were days away from adopting a Chinese kid together.”
–Dr. P (Billy Bob Thornton)
School for Scoundrels

“We don’t want you taking bullets home. We have millions of bullets. Leave the bullets up there. Let the Germans take them home.”
–Captain Thenault (Jean Reno), Flyboys

“Hollywood will fuck you when no one else will.”
–cop, The Black Dahlia

“I was made from the hide of Seabiscuit and stitched by Betsy Ross.”
–Screwie the baseball (the voice of Rob Reiner), sarcastically, Everyone’s Hero

“How can something so round be so square?”
–Darlin’ (the voice of Whoopi Goldberg), on Screwie the baseball, Everyone’s Hero

“We’re married… and it’s overrated.”
–Rebecca (Julianne Moore), Trust the Man

“You know I told you I was a video game programmer? Well, I lied.”
–Chev Chelios (Jason Statham), to his girlfriend, Crank

“Enough is enough — I’ve had it with these motherfuckin’ snakes on this motherfuckin’ plane!”
–Nelville Flynn (Samuel L. Jackson), Snakes on a Plane

“Everybody, listen: We have to put a barrier between us and the snakes.”
–Nelville Flynn (Samuel L. Jackson), Snakes on a Plane

“Why exactly are there snakes on this plane?”
–a passenger, Snakes on a Plane

“I hope you guys have hobo-stab insurance.”
–Schrader (Jonah Hill), Accepted

“Like the frightened baby chipmunk, you are scared by anything different.”
–Jean Girard (Sacha Baron Cohen), to Ricky Bobby, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

“Daddy, you made that grace your bitch!”
–Walker (Houston Tumlin), to Ricky Bobby, Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby

“Welcome to hell.”
–Dwayne (Paul Dano), Little Miss Sunshine

“I can say what I want — I still got Nazi bullets in my head.”
–Grandpa (Alan Arkin), Little Miss Sunshine

“Everybody just pretend to be normal, okay?”
–Richard (Greg Kinnear), Little Miss Sunshine

“Life is one fuckin’ beauty contest after another.”
–Dwayne (Paul Dano), Little Miss Sunshine

“Hey, there’s something down here!”
–Holly (Nora-Jane Noone), The Descent

“It’s okay, you can talk to me — I’m the art teacher.”
–Geoffrey Jellineck (Paul Dinello), Strangers with Candy

“I delivered you — I still have the scars!”
–Dr. Putney (Ian Holm) to Jerri Blank, Strangers with Candy

“Probability is like gravity. You cannot negotiate with gravity.”
–Sonny Crockett (Colin Farrell), Miami Vice

“The doc says most of my injuries are emotional.”
–Dupree (Owen Wilson), You, Me and Dupree

“I have to tip my hat to any entity that can bring integrity to evil.”
–James Barris (Robert Downey Jr.) on corporate drug-rehabbers NewPath, A Scanner Darkly

“Look, an undead monkey!”
–Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

“Somehow, I doubt Jack will consider employment the same as being free.”
–Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

“You have a touch of destiny about you, William Turner.”
–the witch Tia Dalma (Naomie Harris), Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest

“I will solve, when I’m in a hotel, a USA Today [crossword], but I don’t feel good about it.”
–Jon Stewart, Wordplay

“The most powerful force on Earth is the English language.”
–Ken Burns, Wordplay

“You wrote that the world doesn’t need a savior, but every day I hear people crying for one.”
–Superman (Brandon Routh), to Lois Lane, Superman Returns

“Gods are selfish beings who fly around in red capes and don’t share their powers with mankind.”
–Lex Luthor (Kevin Spacey), Superman Returns

“Three things sell newspapers: tragedy, sex, and Superman.”
–Perry White (Frank Langella), Superman Returns

“Pulitzer Prizes are like Academy Awards — no one remembers what you got one for.”
–Perry White (Frank Langella), Superman Returns

“You are so dumb you could be twins.”
–Dusty (Woody Harrelson) to Lefty, A Prairie Home Companion

“Two penguins are standing on an ice floe. The first penguin says, ‘You look like you’re wearing a tuxedo.’ The second penguin says, ‘What makes you think I’m not?’”
–Garrison Keillor (Garrison Keillor), A Prairie Home Companion

“I am Al Gore. I used to be the next president of the United States.”
–Al Gore, An Inconvenient Truth

“Like a nature walk through the Book of Revelation.”
–Al Gore, on the weather catastrophes of 2005 around the globe, An Inconvenient Truth

“He’s an invisible man — Wells, not Ellison.”
–Theodore Brassel (Laurence Fishburne), about a hard-to-find bad guy, Mission: Impossible III

“It’s unacceptable that chocolate makes you fat, but I’ve eaten my share and guess what?”
–Theodore Brassel (Laurence Fishburne), Mission: Impossible III

“You don’t have to invade Paris to drop round for a drink.”
–French lieutenant Audebert (Guillaume Canet) to his German counterpart, Joyeux Noël

“Spelling bees are serious shit.”
–spelling bee contestant, Akeelah and the Bee

“Martin, I’m not physically attracted to other people, but if you want me, I’m yours.”
–Sally Kendoo (Mandy Moore), to Martin Tweed, American Dreamz

“I just don’t know what I’m doing here. On Earth. In this life. As far as the world is concerned, people like me might as well not exist.”
–Jim (Casey Affleck), Lonesome Jim

“This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is it vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished, as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude now venerates what they once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified, and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition. The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose vis-à-vis an introduction, and so it is my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.”
–V (Hugo Weaving), V for Vendetta

“You must acquire the habit of ignoring those who do not like you.”
–John Wilmot, second Earl of Rochester (Johnny Depp), The Libertine

“Old people fuckin’ love me. You must be doin’ something right if old people love you.”
–Dave Chappelle, Dave Chappelle’s Block Party

“Well, I gotta go rock.”
–Corbit (Will Ferrell), Winter Passing

“The secret of life is butter.”
–Chef Didier (Gérard Depardieu), Last Holiday

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