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rare female film critic | by maryann johanson

bias alert!: new obsession, new boyfriend: ‘Life on Mars’ and John Simm

YES!
current obsession:
life on mars
current boyfriend:
john simm in life on mars
i’m psyched:
no country for old men
NO!
current enemy:
ben stiller, for whoring himself out again as the heartbreak kid
i’m dreading:
beowulf

I’ve decided that it’s time to let David Tennant go as my boyfriend. David, honey, it’s not you, it’s me. You know how these things happen — they’re not anybody’s fault. It’s just fate at work, or the gods being capricious, or a full moon, or whatever. You’re with someone and you think you’re happy with him, and then you meet one of his friends for the first time, and the lightning bolt strikes, and there’s just nothing for it.

And I know that John and I are really meant for each other because, well, the signs are everywhere. It’s like this: David introduced me to John in Doctor Who — before that I had No Clue At All that John even existed. And there was a real spark right off the bat, but, you know, I shrugged it off, not wanting to acknowledge the plain and obvious truth: here, out of the blue, was the man of my dreams. We didn’t plan to meet again, but then it was like, everywhere I turned, there he was.

You know I’ve been all excited about my new region-free DVD player, and that I’ve been throwing tons of money at Amazon UK for all sorts of stuff we can’t get here in the States. Well, I had a short list of things I was dying to see: the miniseries State of Play and Sex Traffic, because they’re directed by David Yates, who blew me away with his bleak and grim Harry Potter movie this summer; and this cop thing Life on Mars, which I’d been hearing about and was totally intrigued by the premise of. And it turns out that John Simm is in all of them. Honestly, I had no idea he was hanging around in these places — we just keep getting drawn to the same spots. And every time we do, the chemistry just gets more intense.

I don’t think that’s a coincidence. I believe it is the universe telling us something. And we would be fools not to heed it.

(Oh, and I’m gonna have a lot to say about Life on Mars eventually, cuz there’s all sorts of geeky and generational stuff going on in it; and I’ll probably review the others as well.)

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