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die hard is a xmas movie | by maryann johanson

say what? 2007: ‘The Perfect Holiday’ quote

It had to be done: all in one place, the very best bad dialogue of the year 2007. No ranking — newer quotes are posted at the top. [Warning: May contain spoilers.]

“All my life I’ve been looking for two things: true love and my big break.”
–Benjamin Armstrong (Morris Chestnut), The Perfect Holiday
“When I’m through with the humans, people won’t be able to say ‘Honey, I’m home,’ without paying a royalty.”
–Barry B. Benson (the voice of Jerry Seinfeld), Bee Movie

“I’m sorry for killing the biosphere.”
–Barry B. Benson (the voice of Jerry Seinfeld), Bee Movie

“That cold ain’t the weather — that’s death approaching.”
–The Stranger (Ben Foster), 30 Days of Night

“Maggie, your temper brings shame to my Happy Mu Shu Palace.”
–Master Wong (James Hong), Balls of Fury

“Never hug a man with a million bucks worth of hardware up his crack.”
–Randy (Dan Folger), Balls of Fury

“Randy, I’m trying to sacrifice my life for our love. Stop being such a dick.”
–Maggie (Maggie Q), Balls of Fury

“I’m not saying that kiss was hot, but if the boner police are here, I’d need a lawyer.”
–AM radio deejay (Chris Parnell), Hot Rod

“Never sneak up on a man who’s been in a chemical fire.”
–Frank Powell (Ian McShane), Hot Rod

“People get cut — that’s life.”
–Dakota Moss (Lindsay Lohan), I Know Who Killed Me

“Why are you destroying our planet?”
–Sue Storm (Jessica Alba), to the Silver Surfer, Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

“The hunger has returned to Mr. Brooks’ brain. It never really left.”
–title card, Mr. Brooks

“I’ve always wanted to fuckin’ kill someone who fucked with me in traffic.”
–Mr. Smith (Dane Cook), Mr. Brooks

“She walked in smelling like mashed potatoes, and every guy wanted to be the gravy.”
–Luther Pinks (LL Cool J), Slow Burn

“Let’s get out of here before the final three plagues arrive.”
–Ben (Idris Elba), The Reaping

“We cannot return to the surface to fight evil if we continue to fight each other!”
–Master Splinter (the voice of Mako), TMNT

“By the time our brother discoveries this turtle is not the 13th monster, it will already be too late!”
–bad guy, TMNT

“Hannibal, you do not honor the human pecking order. You’re always hurting the bullies.”
–grownup scolding the young psychopath, Hannibal Rising

“The butcher was like butter.”
–Hannibal Lecter (Gaspard Ulliel), Hannibal Rising

“You’re not a geek, you’re a lot of fun.”
–Maggie (Marisa Tomei) to Dudley (William H. Macy), Wild Hogs

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