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maryann johanson, ruining movies since 1997

TV ads I hate: “talk to your credit card companies”

I think this “TV ads I hate” could be a regular feature — certainly, there are so many awful TV ads that there’d be an endless supply of them even if They stopped making them today. Which They won’t.

Today’s installment: the ad from a consortiuum of credit card companies about a woman who had to go live with her mother, who is “a character” who thinks her daughter “can do anything.” And because the daughter was now out of work — presumably because the Sicko culture we live in does not allow for any in-home care for her mother, not even a few hours a day: either you’re totally fine on your own, or you’re an institutionalized vegetable — she “got behind in [her] payments.” But she “got some good advice: talk to your credit card companies.” And in doing so, this cheery, bouncy woman discovered that apparently just explaining that you need to be making pies with your senile mother all day is enough to get the credit card companies off your back.
Life is not only awesome when you’re caring for a declining parent while also unemployed and unable to pay your bills, but the credit card companies are awesome about it too, and are totally cool with you taking a year or five off from your payments. (Small print: Default rates may be in excess of 35 percent, depending on your credit rating.)

In fact, this woman is so pumped about discovering that she got to talk to an actual “human being” on the other end of the credit card 800-numbers — those people in India are so nice! — that it almost makes me want to default on all my credit cards just so I can talk to an actual human being too! Who wouldn’t! Teetering toward bankruptcy is a beautiful thing, like feeling fresh and being ready to respond to her at the right moment.


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