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cultural vandal | by maryann johanson

the oh-no! DVD of the week: ‘My First MILF’

For a while it was looking like this would be the first week in which I wouldn’t stumble across a new DVD that deserved the oh-no! label. And then, way down on the listing of new releases at Amazon U.K., I found this. And there was much rejoicing.

Have I mentioned before how much I hate the term “mothers I’d like to fuck”? Have I pointed out that there’s no corresponding term for men: “fathers I’d like to fuck”? That’s because a man’s status as a parent is not considered a determining factor in whether or not he’s fuckable: his irresistibility to women doesn’t end merely because he has fathered a child. What a silly thought! But women… once you’re a mother, you’re probably no longer worth anyone’s time, hence the need for a phrase that specifically denotes those rare instances of femaleness that do, beyond all chance, remainable fuckable.

I think it’s the astonishment built into this despicable phrase that stings the most: “Holy shit, she’s someone’s mom… and I want to fuck her! What are the odds?!”



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