the oh-no! DVD of the week: ‘Animated Kids Bible: Towering Pride and True Lies’

I love how the sales copy makes it sound like the worst miniseries ever:

Long after the flood, Noah’s family spreads out into new nations, and the become arrogant and powerful. They decide to challenge God by building a towering ciy that will reach to the heavens. God teaches them a lesson by causing everyone to speak an unknown language. Chaos erupts, and the Tower of Barbel in abandoned. Centuries pass, and Abraham is instructed by God to leave his father as he is destined to found a great nation. Abraham travels to Egypt, and is treated well by the Pharaoh at first, because Abraham tells the Pharaoh that his wife is his sister. But wehn Pharaoh learns that Abraham has deceived him about his wife, he banishes them.

I totally see Lorenzo Lamas as Abraham and Jane Seymour as his wife.

Know what the real sin is here? $14.95 for a 40-minute DVD. That’s unholy.

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fett101
fett101
Tue, Sep 22, 2009 2:58pm

God teaches them a lesson by causing everyone to speak an unknown language.

So no one knows this one new language everyone is speaking? (Yeah, I know the story of Babel but the sentence is very unclear)

Tonio Kruger
Tue, Sep 22, 2009 4:36pm

I’m guessing that the book is better.

bzero
Tue, Sep 22, 2009 6:07pm

I’ll wait for the novelization. B)

inthelight777
inthelight777
Fri, Apr 09, 2010 4:50pm

I saw a preview of one of the episodes and was really impressed. Way better than the average cheesy bible cartoon that totally makes the bible stories seem boring. These do it justice and I liked it ALOT. It seems to be put together much better than alot of other cartoons based on the bible, making kids more interested and able to understand the heart behind some confusing things that are twisted or misinterpreted. I give it 2 thumbs up! Totally worth the price

Kenny
Kenny
Fri, Apr 09, 2010 5:46pm

Tower of BARBEL?? I’m pretty sure there isn’t an r in Babel. I also feel that that’s one of the more obnoxious stories in the bloody book in the first place. “God punishes us for cooperating as a complete race in an endeavour intended to bring us closer to him…. by smashing the fruits of our labour and making us all speak different languages to frustrate future cooperation.”

Thanks God. You absolute cretin.

Also what’s with the typo later on? Doesn’t anybody spell check sales copy any more?

Paul
Fri, Apr 09, 2010 6:28pm

Maybe there’s copyright issues. Someone might have a copyright on Babel.

But seriously, in Elizabethian England they had a theory that Chinese was the language of Noah, because they realized that Chinese civilization predated the Tower of Babel, but were too far away to have helped build the Tower, so would have been spared God’s Curse.

Bluejay
Bluejay
Fri, Apr 09, 2010 9:24pm

Here’s what’s better: the outstanding short story “Tower of Babylon” from Ted Chiang’s collection Stories of Your Life and Others. Jo Walton raves about it here.