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die hard is a xmas movie | by maryann johanson

bonus Halloween oh-no! DVD of the week: ‘Stan Helsing’

There were so many crappy, cheesy, dumb, and otherwise worthy of an oh-no! DVDs this week that I can’t resist pointing them out. What is it about Halloween that inspires people to make really really stupid movies?

In the vein of spoof cinema like Austin Powers and the Scary Movie franchise, Stan Helsing lampoons contemporary film audiences’ never-ending fascination with what makes our blood curdle. In the story, hapless video store clerk Stan Helsing (Steve Howey) and his friends must make a routine video delivery on Halloween night before going to a Halloween party. But when a chain of seemingly random mishaps strand Stan and the gang in Stormy Night Estates, Stan learns of his true destiny as a descendant of the legendary monster-hunter Van Helsing. With his motley band in tow – including his best friend Teddy (“Saturday Night Live” star Kenan Thompson), he will battle evil in the form of parodies of movie monster icons “Freddy,” “Jason,” “Leatherface,” “Pinhead,” “Michael Myers,” and “Chucky”! The ultimate confrontation between good and evil will require immeasurable courage, grim determination – and a flair for karaoke?!?

Of course, they’ve also rolled out the corpse of Leslie Nielsen for this one. Why don’t they just leave the poor man alone?



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