the oh-no! DVD of the week: ‘Slaughtered Vomit Dolls’

Remember that the following is meant to make you want to see the movie:

What happens to a woman when she is abused by her parents, becomes a runaway at the tender age of 14, is molested by a local priest who takes her in and is then used and abused by nearly everyone she comes into contact with? For Angela Aberdeen the answer is to turn away from the human race and all earthly reality by making a sacred pact with Satan. After enlisting his protection in return for her eternal soul, her first act is to burn down the priest s church as he lays passed out drunk on the floor. She then flees to the city where she develops a horrible addiction to alcohol and drugs. Angela quickly spirals downward in her journal to Hell. Stripping turns to pornography and prostitution and as her deadly addictions tear her body apart, she realizes that even Satan has seemingly forsaken her.

Slaughtered Vomit Dolls is the opening film of the infamous Vomit Gore Trilogy directed by Lucifer Valentine. We must warn you that the thoroughly evil and outrageous DVD that you hold in your hands contains the answer to a very elemental question. How deranged, demented and depraved can one person’s existence be? Are you willing to push the boundaries in order to find out? Are you confident enough to test the true strength of your grip on reality? You won’t believe your eyes… or STOMACH! Includes commentary with director and star plus Making of the Film and The History of Vomit Gore.

There’s an official site, if you must learn more, but be warned: despite the “Extreme Graphic Warning” and the promise that you will “witness horror film history and the birth of a new genre of film: vomit gore,” you have join the site — for cash money — to actually see anything so disgusting that it might warrant such cautioning.