question of the weekend: If you came with a warning label, what would it say?

Via Facebook, the source of much modern pop philosophy:

If you came with a warning label, what would it say?

Mine would probably say, “Warning: May cause irritation.”

Oh, and feel free to tell me what other warning labels I need.

(If you have a suggestion for a QOTD/QOTW, feel free to email me. Responses to this QOTW sent by email will be ignored; please post your responses here.)

share and enjoy
             
subscribe
notify of
19 Comments
oldest
newest most voted
Inline Feedbacks
view all comments
Derek
Sat, Apr 10, 2010 12:30pm

“Use at your own risk.”

Ken Patterson
Sat, Apr 10, 2010 1:09pm

I would have a Prop 65 notice that states that I am known by the state of California to cause cancer.

PaulW
PaulW
Sat, Apr 10, 2010 1:16pm

Warning: Always Sober. Never Sane.

lunarangel01
lunarangel01
Sat, Apr 10, 2010 1:29pm

Warning: Contents under pressure.

Hasimir Fenring
Hasimir Fenring
Sat, Apr 10, 2010 1:47pm

Warning: Explodes on contact with stupidity.

Kate
Kate
Sat, Apr 10, 2010 1:59pm

Warning: Religious? Republican? Don’t bother.

LaSargenta
LaSargenta
Sat, Apr 10, 2010 2:22pm

No Smoking, This Vehicle Carries Explosives.

High Voltage, Faraday Suits Required

In Case of Emergency, Provide Foot Massage

Tonio Kruger
Tonio Kruger
Sat, Apr 10, 2010 5:54pm

In case of Rapture, this vehicle will be unoccupied. ;-)

Paul
Paul
Sat, Apr 10, 2010 6:08pm

Worrywart: drinking may cause repeated checks of door to make sure you locked it, of your bag/purse to make sure you didn’t forget anything, and of the news to verify your sense of impending doom.

Antidote: watching the Daily Show/Colbert Report, reading Flickfilosopher, and writing escapist fantasy. Side effects include irony and strange looks from friends.

bronxbee
bronxbee
Sat, Apr 10, 2010 6:32pm

for maryann: Warning: Contents Under Pressure

for me: Warning: Adult Language, Adult Situations, Some Violence

amanohyo
amanohyo
Sat, Apr 10, 2010 8:34pm

Adverse side effects can occur when combined with alcohol or religion
If beef or pork is consumed, induce vomiting
Sports and television may cause drowsiness
Store in a cool dry library

Orangutan
Orangutan
Sat, Apr 10, 2010 8:52pm

Caution: Keep out of direct sunlight.
Warning: Prolonged exposure to remakes of already good movies may cause explosion.

LizeCK
Sat, Apr 10, 2010 10:10pm

Keep out of reach of children.

Bluejay
Bluejay
Sat, Apr 10, 2010 10:23pm

Some disclaimers:

(Back in my old college dorm)
– Not Pre-Med
– Plastic Bag with Chinese Food in My Hand May Not Be a Delivery for Someone Else

(When walking around Chinatown)
– Does Not Speak Chinese

(Standing in the grocery checkout line)
– May Not Be the Next Customer, But Instead Married to Differently-Ethnic Customer in Front of Me

(When in church with extended family)
– May Not Be A Believer, But Just Trying to Be Polite

(When at a formal event with mostly white folks)
– Not Part of the Staff

(When discussing music)
– Intelligent Conversation About Sophisticated Shared Tastes May Not Preclude Secret Fondness for Neil Diamond

(In general)
– Warning: Unlikely to Fit Any Casual Assumptions

Bill Mason
Sun, Apr 11, 2010 3:40am

Medi-Alert Bracelet: Allergic to Stupidity.

Tonio Kruger
Tonio Kruger
Sun, Apr 11, 2010 11:40am

Some disclaimers:

(Back in my old college dorm)
– Not Pre-Med
– Plastic Bag with Chinese Food in My Hand May Not Be a Delivery for Someone Else

(When walking around Chinatown)
– Does Not Speak Chinese

(Standing in the grocery checkout line)
– May Not Be the Next Customer, But Instead Married to Differently-Ethnic Customer in Front of Me

(When in church with extended family)
– May Not Be A Believer, But Just Trying to Be Polite

(When at a formal event with mostly white folks)
– Not Part of the Staff

Oh, we could all use some of these:

– Just Because I Don’t Look Mexican Doesn’t Mean I Want to Hear Your Ethnic Jokes

– Just Because I Don’t Look Mexican Doesn’t Mean I Want to Hear Your Comments About Illegal Aliens

– Just Because I Don’t Look Mexican Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Have Relatives Who Do Look Mexican–And a Lot of Them Are Cops

– The Color of My Skin Doesn’t Mean I Want to Hear Your Views on Black Welfare Recipients

– Just Because I’m Not Carrying a Cross, a Bible or a Rosary Right Now Doesn’t Mean I Want to Hear Your Religious Propaganda

– As Far as You Know, I May Already Know the Lord

– Just Because I Don’t Look Polish Doesn’t Mean I Want to Hear Your Polish Jokes

– You Don’t Stare at My Date and I Won’t Stare at Yours

– Just Because I Look Straight Doesn’t Mean I Want to Hear Your Gay Jokes

– Just Because I Don’t Look Straight Doesn’t Mean I Want to Hear Your Gay Jokes

– If It’s Not Worth Your Trouble to Wait On Me, Then It’s Not Worth My Trouble To Patronize Your Place of Business

markyd
markyd
Mon, Apr 12, 2010 10:50am

Warning: You WILL be judged.

Warning: Wearer is daydreaming about doing anything but listening to your nonsense.

Warning: I like my plants more than you.

Warning: Mentioning your religion will result in sudden disinterest in anything you have to say.

Warning: Wearer thinks your music sucks and should be banned from the planet.

Persephone
Tue, Apr 13, 2010 12:34pm

Premenstral: Step away from that Mars bar and no one gets hurt.

Persephone
Tue, Apr 13, 2010 12:35pm

Warning: can’t spell when premenstrual.