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Michael
Thu, Apr 15, 2010 12:57am

I’m confused. How does this guy qualify as “nice?” Mostly he just seems self-absorbed and annoying.

Tonio Kruger
Tonio Kruger
Thu, Apr 15, 2010 2:10am

In other words, stay away from people who have “I” problems…

Accounting Ninja
Accounting Ninja
Thu, Apr 15, 2010 10:23am

They are entertaining, but lay it on a little thick…
I found the Mr. New Divorce one kind of ringing false. Mostly, the attitude among most newly divorced men I know (family or friend) is one of “my exwife was a bitch/slut/whore, therefore all women are probably bitches/sluts/whores”. He needed more hostility.

And the nice guy was funny, but lacked the subtlety I’ve seen. (I know, Nice Guys, subtle? They tend to start out almost normal, actually, and if you are geeky like me, they start out seemingly great. The Nice Guy-ness will come out slowly, in casual convos and such. At least, that’s my experience, and since I am a geek with lots of guy friends, I’ve known a TON of Nice Guys!)

MaryAnn
MaryAnn
Thu, Apr 15, 2010 11:02am

I’m confused. How does this guy qualify as “nice?” Mostly he just seems self-absorbed and annoying.

Well, bingo, Michael! He’s not nice. But this guy believes he’s “nice” because he subverts his every wish and desire in order to accommodate a woman (or what he believes will accommodate her). And when she has no tolerance for it and fails to find it attractive, he will complain that women don’t like “nice guys.”

I have a better word for the Nice Guy: doormat. Also: passive-aggressive.

And the nice guy was funny, but lacked the subtlety I’ve seen.

True. But the most accurate portrait of the Nice Guy would have to be 10 hours long, probably. :->

Paul
Paul
Thu, Apr 15, 2010 6:13pm

Actually, after my divorce I went into therapy and came out with a great attitude towards women. It took about a year for reality to wear that back off.

MaSch
MaSch
Fri, Apr 16, 2010 7:27am

Paul: I expect an entertaining fight now. So glad I’ve got enough popcorn around …

Left_Wing_Fox
Left_Wing_Fox
Fri, Apr 16, 2010 10:53am

The Nice Guy™ whine is “Why do women date Jerks instead of Nice Guys like me?”

The reason is because most “Nice Guys™” are simply passive-agressive Jerks: they’re nice because they think it will get them sex, rather than being nice because women are people deserving of respect. Nice Guys™ whine that women see them as “a good friend” but aren’t interested in them romantically. usually because he’s being an doormat in the hopes of sex later on, rather than actually having a genuine friendship built on mutual interests and respect.

Some are shy, and never work up the courage to be forward to the women they actually do have an attraction to, some have self-esteem issues, and thing that being nice is the only thing they have to offer, and overcompensate. Eventually, most teens finally grow out of the idea that women are mysterious alien beings that we only interact with for sex, while others eventually succumb to the misogyny, and windup as the creepy old lech on the subway.

I’m on the recovery path myself. :)

MaSch
MaSch
Fri, Apr 16, 2010 11:44am

most teens finally grow out of the idea that women are mysterious alien beings

For just a little more than half of all teens this “growing out” is rather extremely simple …