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cultural vandal | by maryann johanson

the oh-no! DVD of the week: ‘Furry Vengeance’

I had just about recovered from the ordeal of the trailer for this film — I spared myself the further torment of seeing the actual film — and here the wound gets ripped open again via the news of its DVD release:

Sometimes, four legs are better than two. Dan (Brendan Fraser, The Mummy franchise) just moved his wife and son to the woods to take a new job with a supposedly eco-friendly housing development. But the fur and Dan’s temper is sure to fly when the local critters learn of the bleak plans for their forest home and stop at nothing to halt construction. Brooke Shields (TV’s Lipstick Jungle ), Matt Prokop (High School Musical 3: Senior Year), Ken Jeong (Knocked Up) and Angela Kinsey (TV’s The Office ) co-star in this comedy for the whole family.

If animals could talk, they would say: “We humbly beesech humanity to stop paving over the rolling woodlands and fresh clear waters of our homes. But if you are unable to refrain from such wanton and thoughtless acts of destruction, we plead with you that you, in your infinite wisdom as the sentient creatures who hold dominion over the planet we all share, to kindly stop forcing us to perform in such minstrel-show atrocities, even if only through the trickery of computer-generated imagery. We lesser creatures are beings of dignity and pride, just as humans are, and we ask you to respect our integrity. Thank you.”

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