Today’s question comes from Thomas, who asked me — and now I ask you:
What’s the worst movie you’ve ever seen?
I’m talking real, down-to-earth, honest-to-awfulness, worst movie you’ve ever seen. Not the movie that’s so bad it’s great. Not a guilty pleasure you acknowledge is terrible but you have a sneaking fondness for anyway. Nope: I want you to dredge up the most excruciating memory of a movie-watching experience you can manage without blowing out a cranial artery.
It’s a tough choice for me, I find. Dumb and Dumber was the first movie I ever thought about walking out on (this was before I was reviewing films), it was so unbearable to watch. The Human Centipede (First Sequence) is entirely without merit, and sociopathically inhuman, and inhumane, and made me ill, not from the images onscreen but from thinking about the kind of person who would think this was a good thing to make a movie about. Diary of a Mad Black Woman is so incompentent and incomprehensible a film that it may well be the worst movie I’ve ever seen.
Your turn. Have fun… if you can.
(If you have a suggestion for a QOTD, feel free to email me. Responses to this QOTD sent by email will be ignored; please post your responses here.)
I fell asleep a few times while watching The Serpent and the Rainbow, and when I woke up and rewound my DVR, I was pretty sorry I did. People do not go to zombie movies and expect there to be some sort of scientific explanation for why they are zombies, and the voodoo zombies were simply grotesque. Furthermore, sending the hero back to Haiti a second time was completely unnecessary, and there’s no use setting any scene in a horror film in a luxurious office. Meanwhile, Wes Craven (a rather fitting name, no?) added an electroshock torture scene that made me sick and a final battle that smoothed my brain out a little. And finally, I KNOW Haiti was a dictatorship in the 1970s and ’80s. What was the bloody point of pointing out Duvalier’s brutality every ten sentences?
That might be the worst movie I have ever seen, but neither do I think Ladyhawke or the third Naked Gun are worth multiple viewings. I was forced to watch the former with my parents when I was twelve … I wouldn’t talk to them for nearly three months afterwards.