The blockbuster season is creeping up on us, and with it comes the specter of really really terrible movies. It’s as inevitable as sunburn, sand in your sneakers, and mosquito bites.
What would be the ultimate awful summer movie?
I imagine it might look something like this:
Coming this summer! Tickets now on sale! It’s Tyler Perry’s Cherry-Poppin’ Wizards 2 in IMAX 3D.
Based on the bestselling Xbox game and the acclaimed, Pulitzer Prize-winning novel, this is the outrageous, raunchy, poignant tale of ordinary all-American teen Harvey (Jay Baruchel), who discovers he is heir to a long-lost magical legacy… just as a zombie-vampire virus breaks loose from a secret government lab and lays waste to the country. With the help of his crotchety world-weary hitman uncle (Philip Seymour Hoffman) and a bickering duo of wizards (Nicolas Cage and Dwayne Johnson) intent on training him up in his magical ways — for only Harvey can put a stop to the viral apocalypse — the boy hits the road for the secret Nevada laboratory that accidentally released the virus.
Or was it an accident? For Harvey encounters, along the way, a snarky pixie chick, Ramona (Emma Stone), who has evidence of warring government agencies: FBI vampires versus CIA werewolves. Is America caught in the middle of a homegrown, inside-the-Beltway terrorist plot to destroy the nation from within? Can horny, geeky Harvey convince Ramona to take his virginity, even though she’s way out of his league? Or will she stick with her plan to impregnate herself via a sperm donation from the gay leader (John Travolta) of the team of washed-up thieves they meet in Vegas, there to pull off the ultimate casino heist, their last… if they can make it out alive.
The sequel to the remake of the beloved classic, Tyler Perry’s Cherry-Poppin’ Wizards 2 in IMAX 3D is sure to be the blockbuster of the year, and is generating significant Oscar buzz for Robert Duvall’s stirring performance as The Desert Hermit. You won’t want to miss it!
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