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die hard is a xmas movie | by maryann johanson

Torchwood: Miracle Day: Episode 4: “Escape to LA” (review)

Torchwood Miracle Day

Previous: Episode 3: “Dead of Night”
What other tricks do the people behind Miracle Day have up their sleeve? More miracles? What do they want with Jack? What do they want with all the not-dead people that they need to stash them in “overflow camps”? Was Oswald Danes merely in the right execution chamber at the right time? Or could Phicorp have had some nefarious reason to have ensured he survived his execution?

So many dull yet dreary questions raised by this episode! But perhaps the most pressing one is this:

Is Esther the dumbest CIA agent ever?

She doesn’t see the menacing black sedan parked right outside her sister’s house? Look! There’s Esther, with the sister’s boarded-up house:

Torchwood Miracle Day

There’s the menacing black sedan, again with the sister’s house:

Torchwood Miracle Day

Esther would actually have to be actually blind not to see that she has pulled up right behind this car. It gives her no pause? None? Really?

Later, she is stunned — stunned — to learn that her nieces have been taken from the crazy sister and put into foster care. In what universe does this make sense? She’s the one who told social services on the phone that:

there are two children I believe might be in danger.

What did she think was going to happen?

Related question:

Could we maybe have an episode that does not revolve around Esther crying and Esther apologizing for not being a supercool secret spy lady like the rest of them?

More questions that I shouldn’t care about… and well, don’t really care about, in fact:

What the hell does Juarez see in Rex? And is that bit with his estranged dad intended to make us like him more?

Why the hell did C. Thomas Howell not go after Torchwood on, oh, that days-long drive across the United States, which would have consisted of stops at lonely service stations, cheap motels in remote areas, and other places extremely suitable for an ambush, but instead waits till he has to break into a secure facilty to confront them for reasons that don’t appear to have anything to do with that secure facilty?

Why is Jilly Kitzinger sour on Oswald Danes all of a sudden? When did that happen? She was trying to scoop him up as a client, and now she’s disgusted by him?

Why is Gwen’s American accent so terrible, and why bother with it at all if it is?

Could there be a more distasteful way of framing this story than as the rise of Oswald Danes? Were we supposed to root for Danes against Ellis Hartley Monroe? Is anyone here meant to be even the slightest bit interesting or sympathetic? Besides Juarez, that is (aside from her unlikely attraction to Rex)?

When the anonymous woman who dumps her father in the “plague ship” hospital out of frustration and exhaustion is the character who elicits the most compassion, something is wrong with your TV show.

Next: Episode 5: “The Categories of Life”



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