There was a headline this week on Phys.org that caught my eye: “Revolutionary theory of dark matter” — I thought, Ooo, they’ve discovered it’s the elusive 110 percent dark chocolate!
There isn’t actually a definitive answer behind that headline. So chocolate could eventually be the answer!
What do you think is the secret behind all that dark matter out in the universe?
Is it the accumulated weight of all the socks that go missing from washing machines? Is it where politicians’ promises go after elections are over? Let’s get this solved!
(If you have a suggestion for a QOTD/QOTW, feel free to email me. Responses to this QOTW sent by email will be ignored; please post your responses here.)
It’s the ink from all the “lost” pens that use the crack between our desks and the wall to form a transitory hyperdimensional jump link to a land of freedom and chauffeured luxury. Since liquids don’t have the same gravitational stretching properties as the pens’ solid bodies (where their consciousness exists in a divinely-ordained and intelligently-designed flash memory state — fuck you, Dawkins), the ink is left behind in a state of quantum flux across the galaxy.
And yes, cheap green retractables are the worst.
It’s not socks – they are transmuted into extra hangers in the attic. Personally, I think the dark matter is just trying to hide from us for all kinds of excellent reasons.
Dust bunnies.
My friends and I, all astrophysics undergrads, proved it back in 1996, but the government wouldn’t let us publish.
Hang on, someone’s knocking on my door…
it’s all the vast disappointments and unhappiness of our lost promise and empty days working to make other people rich. (oh, and bitterness… did i mention dark bitterness?)
It’s the styrofoam packing material from all the equipment used to study Dark Matter.
It’s been scientifically proven that dark matter is composed of mankind’s ignorance.
It’s even in the damn thing’s definition!
Stealing from Jasper Fforde and the last Thursday Next book: it’s the unfinished novel plots, half-formed characters and forgotten thoughts that are never written down. Also, the lost Doctor Who episodes that were wiped by the BBC and don’t exist in any form today.
It’s Philip Pullman’s Dust, of course.
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I HOPE it’s what’s needed to sustain a cyclical nature of the Universe. The Big Crunch was dismissed recently, to my dismay, which is the idea that eventually all matter in the Universe will rejoin, eventually forming a singularity and then a subsequent Big Bang.
…oops, forgot to carry the two.