Pompeii rating: yellow light
Instantly forgettable but more than passable as a diversion; solid B-movie cheese that’s like Titanic-lite meets Gladiator-lite.
reviews
On My Way (Elle s’en va) review: life goes on and on
A beautifully observant meander through the difficulties and discoveries of wise but still confused advanced age, led by a gorgeous, vital, 70-odd Catherine Deneuve.
Knights of Badassdom rating: red light
Supernatural slasher haunts a live-action role-playing game. The cast is clearly having fun, but none of it rubs off on us.
The Legend of Hercules rating: red light
Kellan Lutz is the demigod’s density in Renny Harlin’s MST3K-ready retelling of the classical legend. Think Jesus with muscles, by the power of Greyskull.
Escape from Tomorrow review: Mickey Mouse horror
Whatever the technical intrigue of a film shot guerilla-style at Disney World, the would-be surreal midlife crisis that ended up onscreen doesn’t work… at all.
The Final Member review: collectile dysfunction
The world’s only penis museum is no joke, but there’s plenty funny (and enlightening, and poignant) in this sweet portrait of a man dedicated to completing his life’s work.
The Love Punch review: below the belt
The jokes are as creaky as the aching bunions and bad backs onscreen, but Emma Thompson and Pierce Brosnan are incandescent together.
The Sea review: the sands of time are dun-colored
Ciarán Hinds engages in some pointlessly dour Irish brooding at the beach.
Tracks review: hopefully lost
Romantic in the grandest sense, a visceral and hypnotic experience of idealistic aspirations set against the desolate beauty and danger of the Outback.
The Other Woman review: sex and the infidelity
We need an equivalent term to “Uncle Tom” for a woman — in this case, screenwriter Melissa Stack — who participates in Hollywood’s systematic hatred of women.
