film criticism by maryann johanson | since 1997
Devoid of personality and soul, this hellish Frankenstein monster of processed entertainment product wallows in a stew of borrowed ideas and imagery and does absolutely nothing fresh with them.
The Auto-Tuned boy-band version of the apocalypse. You will forgive that every plot point that isn’t a cliché is in fact a plot hole because the hero is so dreamy and impossibly perfect, right?
A rote disappointment. There is nothing shocking or even mildly unexpected here. But there is an ironic weakening of the power of the xenomorphs to terrify.
Plain pure fun. At its best, it’s Lord of the Rings meets Aliens, with incredible imaginative grandeur and genuinely breathtaking 3D depth.
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I don’t recognize this show anymore.
An underwater heist of Nazi loot? Awesome. Submarine movies don’t get much better than this intensely suspenseful popcorn adventure.
I’m getting a Robocop-on-Gallifrey vibe. No, wait, Colonial Marines on Gallifrey.
Another way of looking at the issues that the Bechdel Test raises about the paucity of women onscreen…
Really? A giant reset button? An actual in-fact for-real big-friendly reset button? Really?
