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wtf: Smurfs movie is totally uncalled for

Proof that there is no god: A Smurfs movie will be hurled at us in 2011, whether we want it or not. And it will be about Smurfs magically transported from whatever frakkin’ magical forest they live in to New York City. Like Enchanted, I guess. Only evil. It will be called The Smurfs. I … more…

watch it: “Little Girls Goin Hard on Single Ladies”

Ugh: I feel like I saw this in Little Miss Sunshine, except there it was a parody. Or was it Sparkle Motion in Donnie Darko? Rachel Simmons at Jezebel echoes my feelings about this: Thrusting your pelvis, crouching seductively and shaking your butt like a stripper are inherently sexual acts. And if their bodies didn’t … more…

The Box (review)

It’s a box. A cardboard box. Frank Langella brings it to your door, and inside is the Pop-o-matic of Death, and you either push the big red button under the plastic dome, in which case someone you don’t know dies and you get a cool million in a briefcase, or you don’t, in which you don’t get a movie made about you. Resisting the Moral Dilemma? No movie for you!

trailer break: ‘The Box’

Take a break from work: watch a trailer… Two questions: What’s with the phony Southern accents? (It really doesn’t suit Cameron Diaz.) And is it just me, or does James Marsden simply not look right without that Cyclops eyewear? From the director of Donnie Darko? Okay, fair enough. But let us not forget that Richard … more…

best of 2007: 10 worst movies

My picks for the best and worst movies of the year are no secret to anyone who follows my annual ranking of every new theatrical release I see. The ranking is a work-in-progress throughout the year. It begins when I see the first movie slated for release within a calendar year — for 2007, that … more…