film criticism by maryann johanson | since 1997
A same-old tale of apocalypse knows we’ve seen this all before, and so centers human drama over disaster porn. It has nothing new to say, but at least it says it well, with notes of horrific grace.
A sad retread of The Fugitive. Dumb, pointless, confused, full of contempt for its audience, and laughably unable to convince us that Gerard Butler is an acceptable stand-in for Harrison Ford.
The Hunt for Red October as made by a Michael Bay wannabe who can’t even rise to the level of giving-a-propagandistic-crap. Absurd geopolitics and laugh-out-loud clichés abound; tension and excitement do not.
Almost hilariously terrible: absurd plot machinations, dubious politics, not a single character to care about. And it doesn’t even give good disaster porn.
Hilariously, casting white Westerners as mortals and deities of the ancient Nile is the least offensive thing about this crime against goofball cinema.
A Nuremberg rally for 21st-century America. Pure terror porn: racist, jingoistic, thoroughly obnoxious. Donald Trump voters will love it. *sob*
An absolute delight, even better than the first film; a gorgeously animated ode to sticking to your principles in the face of ultimate adversity.
…though the trailer is hoping you won’t notice that.
This gentle father-son(ish) tale about an expert surfer and his teen apprentice is a rare “family” movie that isn’t preachy or insipid.
Am I the only one who loves Jordi Mollà? It’s those eyes — so mesmerizing.
