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The Vow (review)

So it turns out that perhaps the most awesome thing ever to happen to sappy shitty romantic flicks is brain damage. It makes sense! These movies are already brain-dead 95 percent of time anyway…

The Sitter (review)

I’m starting to wonder, truly and sincerely, if David Gordon Green is suffering from one of those brain tumors that radically alters one’s personality…

Zookeeper (trailer)

I want to believe that this is a joke. Then again, I’ve been trying to convince myself for years that the movie-stardom of Kevin James is a joke, but it’s really real. So I guess this movie is real, too.

Something Borrowed (review)

The genre always assumes we’ll sympathize with ugly, soulless, personality-free women doing terrible things to the people they supposedly care about in the pursuit of a wedding, because what is more important than landing Mr. Right, right? But even grading on that rom-com curve, this is a disgusting movie.

The Dilemma (review)

The real dilemma here is not: Should Vince Vaughn tell Kevin James that his — James’s — wife is cheating on him? It’s: How did Ron Howard get attached to this train wreck of a movie?

The Switch (review)

There are your everyday passive-aggressive Nice Guys. And then there’s Wally Mars, who deserves some sort of lifetime achievement medal for Most Passive-Aggressive Nice Guy Ever.

trailer break: ‘Scott Pilgrim vs. the World’

Take a break from work: watch a trailer… I’ve been scolded already for not understanding the appeal of Scott Pilgrim, and I think I can pretty much promise those scolders that if this trailer is representative of the film, I will continue not to understand the appeal of it. Cuz it looks like yet another … more…

trailer break: ‘Grown Ups’

Take a break from work: watch a trailer… Oh, I get it: the title is meant to be ironic. I know that’s a tough concept for some people, but it means that even though the movie is called Grown Ups, that’s kind of a joke because the characters actually aren’t grown up at all. And … more…

Tooth Fairy (review)

Insufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from the ruthlessly forced faux charm of a witless, sloppily assembled, lazily crafted movie that believes it can get away with such shoddiness because it’s ‘for kids.’