Geostorm movie review: weather bomb
Almost hilariously terrible: absurd plot machinations, dubious politics, not a single character to care about. And it doesn’t even give good disaster porn.
Independence Day
Independence Day: Resurgence movie review: Precis of Report on Readiness of Planet YD56201.3 to Join Galactic Alliance
The Invitation Committee fears that this fictional popular entertainment reflects Human tendencies to illogic, lack of imagination, and rank sentimentality.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows movie review: shell schlock
Leaden and witless, though it obviously believes there is humor in its loud, chaotic juvenility. It would be an insult to cartoons to call this cartoonish.
Oblivion movie review: Jetsons parody or Ikea commercial?
Postcard-pretty, unusual for a science fiction flick, but shockingly derivative.
Avengers Assemble (aka Marvel’s The Avengers) (review)
How many superheroes spoil the broth? More than six, apparently, at least when Joss Whedon is wrangling them.
Battleship (review)
Pretty much the dullest alien invasion movie ever, featuring an uninteresting incursion by nondescript aliens doing boring things and not even blowing shit up in exciting new ways.
trailer break: ‘Transformers: Dark of the Moon’
I guarantee you that Michael Bay is having eight kinds of orgasms just thinking about the fact that we’re all watching all these lovely explosions in his new trailer today…
Battle: Los Angeles (review)
Battle: Los Angeles may be about invasion, but it’s not about aliens: it’s about us. This isn’t science fiction: It’s a bleak fantasy about karma being a bitch. It’s about collective cultural guilt. Looked at from that angle, it’s fascinating.
Skyline (review)
This isn’t a movie: it’s an FX demo reel. It’s not about anything: it doesn’t reflect any contemporary fears that afflict individual people or anxieties that grip our entire culture. It has nothing to say beyond: “Don’t alien ships in the skies over Los Angeles look sorta interesting, and perhaps you would like to hire us to create the FX for your next sci-fi action film?”
deep thought (re ‘Skyline’)
The target audience for Skyline was in kindergarten when Independence Day was released.
