film criticism by maryann johanson | since 1997
It certainly is MORE than the first movie: more incoherent, more confused about who its protagonist is, more crammed with contrivance and coincidence. Even the title is more nonsensical this time.
A flimsy treasure-hunt plot, a sexy song-and-dance number, and more of the same Elton John songs deployed with trite, lazy tedium. They mean to keep cranking out these dumb, dull movies, don’t they?
Doubly dated, lacking in humor and subtext, its impressive cast deliberately underutilized, this is little more than an exercise in gorgeous production design.
The franchise finally overstays its welcome with this cacophony of CGI spectacle, a contrived and confusing plot, and a newly cruel and stupid Jack Sparrow.
Sounds like a symptom of that well-known delusion, that women are dominating a situation even when they’re barely present in it.
Believes six impossible things — like implausible character motivations, or big emotions — because they’re in the script, without bothering to earn them.
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A solid execution of a familiar tale, crammed with a likable, watchable cast. But it doesn’t have anything new to say about why men do despicable things.
Nigel is not a believer (except in vegetarianism), but he likes an impressive building.
This painfully unfunny spoof of teddibly British nonsense couldn’t be less amusing if it were actually calculated to be totally laugh-free.
