film criticism by maryann johanson | handcrafted since 1997
Of all the washed-up washed-out over-the-hill too-old-for-this-shit action-hero movies we’ve had thrown at us this year — The A-Team, The Losers, The Expendables — Red is by far the most amusing, the most clever, the most tongue-in-cheek, the most fun (and I say that as someone who mostly liked those other movies).
And they have to rescue at least one big strong badass guy from mortal danger…
U.S. AND CANADA/OPENING WIDE Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time: It’s tanking in the U.K., and now it gets a shot at tanking in North America. [trailer] review to come If you can’t make it to the multiplex, try: • Big Trouble in Little China (1986): In which Kurt Russell goes up against an … more…
Take a break from work: watch a trailer… Any trailer that starts with “They are the world’s greatest mercenaries…” had better turn into a parody at some point. I kept waiting for that to happen, and even as it appears to turn into a convention of washed-up action heroes — Dolph Lundgren? Dolph Lundgren is … more…
And new releases fail to engage: 1. How to Train Your Dragon: $15.4 million 2. The Back-up Plan: $12.2 million (NEW) 3. Date Night: $10.5 million (3rd week; drops 37%) 4. The Losers: $9.4 million (NEW) 5. Kick-Ass: $9.3 million (2nd week; drops 53%) actual numbers, not estimates Ugh. It was ugly out there this … more…
We know how it is: You’d like to go to the movies this weekend, but all you’ve just gotten yourself artificially inseminated and the doctor said to take it easy. But you can have a multiplex-like experience from the comfort of your own sofa with a collection of the right DVDs. And when someone asks … more…
A wickedly wonderful little smashup of fluff…
Take a break from work: watch a trailer… I’m pretty sure I had never seen Jeffrey Dean Morgan in anything before Watchmen, but now I want him to be in everything. And Zoe Saldana is clearly on her way to being in everything — Avatar, Star Trek, the new Death at a Funeral — and … more…
Awww. It’s a year in the lives of four babies from around the world. How the hell cute is Babies (opens in the U.S. and Canada on May 7; no U.K. release date has been announced) gonna be, anyway? George A. Romero has yet another zombie movie in the offing for us: Survival of the … more…
Recently, the members of the Online Film Critics Society voted on which comic book movie slated for release in 2010 we’re most looking forward to. We chose from this list, which includes, as far as I can determine, all the comic book movies currently on the schedule: Dead of Night The Green Hornet Iron Man … more…
