Knowing (review)
Imagine that the nitwits who wrote those preposterous *Left Behind* apocalyptic end-times fantasies decided to try their pens at something *X-Files*-y…
Nicolas Cage
my week at the movies: ‘Monsters vs. Aliens,’ ‘Super Capers,’ ‘Knowing,’ ‘Duplicity,’ ‘I Love You, Man,’ ‘Goodbye Solo,’ ‘Shall We Kiss?,’ ‘Earth’
Cutest monsters ever! At least that seems to be what Monsters vs. Aliens (opens in the U.S. on March 27, and in the U.K. on April 3) is promising. I’m especially thrilled because I’m seeing it in IMAX… real IMAX, not that fake stuff they’re trying to sell us these days with the phony “upgrade” … more…
trailer break: ‘Knowing’
Take a break from work: watch a trailer… I get it! Nicolas Cage finds a piece of paper that, 50 years prior, unerringly predicted each and every future large-scale disaster to come… and there’s a few more yet to unfold. And Nicolas Cage will stop those disasters from unfolding. Because these predictions are absolutely accurate … more…
bias update
obsession: still Doctor Who (most recent episode blogging: “Journey’s End”) boyfriend: David Tennant as the Doctor (see my summer of Tennant and Hamlet) psyched: Igor (because it looks dementedly adorable) dreading: My Best Friend’s Girl (because the world has seen enough dumb “romantic” “comedies”) enemy: Nicolas Cage, who’s not as Bangkok Dangerous as he thinks … more…
Bangkok Dangerous (review)
Look, Nicolas Cage is an assassin, okay? He’s tough. And hardened. And impervious to human emotions. He doesn’t care what you think.
‘Bangkok Dangerous’: not so much?
Oh, yeah, Nic Cage is so tough with his long hair and all the guns and his traveling around the planet to kill people for hire and his world-weary ennui, but he can’t face a few pathetic film critics? Yup, Bangkok Dangerous, the only new wide release today, was not screened in advance for us … more…
Lord of War movie review: sympathy for the devil?
Funny? Sure, *Lord of War* is funny. Funny like how you’re not sure whether that headline is from Reuters or The Onion. Funny like how Jon Stewart has to insist that what he’s about to tell you really happened and is not the invention of his team of political wagsters. Satirical? Sure, *Lord of War* is satirical. Satirical like the front page of *The New York Times* is satirical. Satirical like how, at the end of Andrew Niccol’s black comedy about a relatively small-time freelance arms dealer, he tells us that the biggest arms dealers in the world are the nations that are the five permanent members of the UN Security Council.
say what? worst. lines. ever, 2004 edition
Here, in one place, the funniest bad dialogue of the year 2004. They’re not ranked — they’re all equally awful. [Warning: May contain spoilers.] [click here for the best, most quotable snippets of dialogue from 2004] “Clearly, madam, genuis has turned to madness.” –Raoul (Patrick Wilson), to Madame Giry (Miranda Richardson), on the Phantom (Gerard … more…
Christmas Carol: The Movie (review)
The voice cast of this animated British kid flick is an Anglophile’s dream: Kate Winslet (Finding Neverland), Michael Gambon (Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow), Juliet Stevenson (Being Julia), Rhys Ifans (Vanity Fair), Jane Horrocks (Chicken Run). Pity that not a one of them distinguishes him- or herself — the voice performances are so … more…
Adaptation (review)
I should probably watch Being John Malkovich again before I try to write this. I’ve got the DVD here somewhere. It’s vitally important that I watch BJM again right now. I could just put it on for a while. I could write while I’m watching it. I can do that.
