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one of the best emails I’ve ever gotten

I have no idea what prompted this, since clearly the writer believes I am psychic in addition to being smug and elitist. Still, it’s too good not to share:

Five things I hate WAY more than "Juno":

1) "Atonement" )now THAT'S overrated!)

2) Sean "Scumbag" Penn

3) Aretha Franklin's flabby arms (buy an outfit with sleeves already and put it on, please!)

4) Any film starring Cuba Gooding Jr. or Gwyneth Paltrow since "winning" their Oscars

5) Snide, smug, elitist liberal critics who act like they're so superior to everyone and everything, when they secretly get off on Bing Crosby tunes/film, showing their allegiance for and overrated child abuser!

That’s as brilliant a work of surrealistic fantasy as any movie I’ve ever seen!


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Five things I hate WAY more than "Juno":
1) "Atonement" )now THAT'S overrated!)

2) Sean "Scumbag" Penn

3) Aretha Franklin's flabby arms (buy an outfit with sleeves already and put it on, please!)

4) Any film starring Cuba Gooding Jr. or Gwyneth Paltrow since "winning" their Oscars

5) Snide, smug, elitist liberal critics who act like they're so superior to everyone and everything, when they secretly get off on Bing Crosby tunes/film, showing their allegiance for and overrated child abuser!

1) Atonement...I haven't seen it yet. My dissertation has made it so that my Oscar contender viewing this year is pathetic.

2) Sean Penn is a very good actor. Dead Man Walking? 12 Grams? He does very good work. I don't know him as a person.

3) Critiquing the Queen of Soul for having flabby arms is petty, catty, and ruins the intellectual credibility the original poster could have ever hoped to have. She can wear what she likes.

4) Why is the word winning in quotation marks? They did win the Oscars. Maybe the original poster doesn't understand when to use quotation marks?

5) Whu? That was random and weird. I think you are awesome MAJ.

Side Musing: The word Overrated. Used when one thinks that something that everybody else likes isn't very good. By judging something overrated, the person doing the judging is stands very close to being elitist--they are claiming that their subjective judgement is better than the subjective judgments of "the masses" (who everyone seems to like to call stupid, and who people rarely admit to belonging to). By calling Bing Crosby overrated, the original poster steps into the very elitist trap that s/he accuses MAJ of being in.


Well, "Scumbag" is Sean Penn's nickname. I believe he's actually credited as Sean "Scumbag" Penn in Mystic River.

Seriously though, what a surreal e-mail.

He's not exactly wrong about Cuba Gooding Jr.

Of course, what would you, a member of the Cuba Gooding Jr.-loving critical establishment, know about it? Quit trying to convince us that Cuba Gooding Jr. makes great movies, you out-of-touch elitist.

You expect intelligence from someone who listens to "Bill O'Reilly"?

Oh the improper use of "and" in place of "an" is a personal squirk of mine but I guess moaning about that makes me smug, snide and elitist.

I'm in great company then. ;)

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who I am


I'm MaryAnn Johanson: writer and ponderer in New York City who drinks too much wine and thinks way too much about such inconsequences as movies, TV, books, and the meaning of life.
[email me]

• contributor, Film.com
• member, Online Film Critics Society
• member, Alliance of Women Film Journalists
• member, International Academy of Digital Arts and Sciences
• visit my scratchpad blog, MaryAnnJohanson.com
• read my Doctor Who fan fiction

photo by David Speranza

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