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die hard is a xmas movie | by maryann johanson

one of the best emails I’ve ever gotten

I have no idea what prompted this, since clearly the writer believes I am psychic in addition to being smug and elitist. Still, it’s too good not to share:

Five things I hate WAY more than “Juno”:

1) “Atonement” )now THAT’S overrated!)

2) Sean “Scumbag” Penn

3) Aretha Franklin’s flabby arms (buy an outfit with sleeves already and put it on, please!)

4) Any film starring Cuba Gooding Jr. or Gwyneth Paltrow since “winning” their Oscars

5) Snide, smug, elitist liberal critics who act like they’re so superior to everyone and everything, when they secretly get off on Bing Crosby tunes/film, showing their allegiance for and overrated child abuser!

That’s as brilliant a work of surrealistic fantasy as any movie I’ve ever seen!



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