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cultural vandal | by maryann johanson

‘Cloverfield’ spoiler in New York City subway

I was riding home tonight on the train, as I typically do when I need to get home, and we were stopped for a few minutes at 86th Street, on the express track. While I was waiting for the conductor or whoever to fix whatever the problem was, I noticed that someone had written, in permanent black marker on an unrelated billboard that was gracing the platform, a major spoiler for Cloverfield. I’m not going to repeat what the killjoy had written, partly because I don’t want to spoil the movie for those who haven’t seen it, and partly because it was only half correct. It’s as if someone had written, in the summer of 1980, “Darth Vader is Luke’s uncle, and Luke loses his nose.”

The thing I really want to say is this: What kind of candy-stealing, ponytail-pulling, wedgie-yanking numbnuts does this kind of thing? How have we raised our children, that they’re so inconsiderate that they think it’s funny to ruin a movie for random strangers?

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