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part of a small rebellion | by maryann johanson

movie-ku #126

New kind of freedom
Walking out of a movie
The first time ever

(Guess which upcoming nightmare made me do this, if you like.)

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movie haiku
  • JSW

    I’m guessing Rambo. Fool’s Gold and Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins also look bad, but in more of a standard Hollywood crap sort of way, which Maryanne must’ve gotten used to by now. Rambo, on the other hand, looks to actually be actively, offensively awful.

  • MontyGurl

    I’m guessing Fool’s Gold, if only because I haven’t actually seen any previews for Rambo and don’t know anything about it.

  • MBI

    Meet the Spartans?

    No, wait, that’s not being screened, is it?

  • MBI

    Now, I just took a crash course on the Rambo series. The first is the only serious one, the and the third is pretty goofy. The second is goofy but think itself serious, and for that reason is the worst of the original three movies.

    The fourth movie looks to be wayyyyy over-the-top but about an intensely serious topic, the brutal Burmese military regime. So if I had to guess, “Rambo” would be the one that forced MaryAnn out of the theaters.

    I have NEVER walked out of a movie — I hate not finishing movies, any movies. The closest I ever came was “The Heartbreak Kid” — I was literally watching it from the theatre entrance rather than from my seat. “The Covenant” also tested my mighty resolve.

  • Patrick

    *hunched in a ball with fingers crossed*

    “Please not ‘Pootie Tang'”
    “Please not ‘Pootie Tang'”
    “Please not ‘Pootie Tang'”

    (because that’s actually a relatively good movie…)

  • bitchen frizzy

    “Meet the Spartans” looks like it might be sufficiently unbearable.

  • JSW

    Meet the Spartans wasn’t on her “My Week at the Movies” list, although I suppose she might have watched it anyway.

  • MontyGurl

    Well, “Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins” is now at the bottom of the list of “2008 Movies Ranked”, so that’s my amended guess.

  • bitchen frizzy

    That’s true, and I think MBI is right – Spartans isn’t being screened.

  • Random thought: It would be funny if Sylvester Stallone showed up in Meet the Spartans in his cop uniform from Demolition Man… or if Val Kilmer showed up acting all bad-ass like he did in that David Mamet movie he was in…

  • JT

    But if she walked out, would she really put it on a list of ranked 2008 films? I thought there was an unwritten rule of film criticism that one has to watch the entire movie before judging it.

    I think it’s “Meet the Spartans”.

  • MaryAnn

    *Spartans* is not being screened for critics, so I haven’t seen it.

    It’s *Roscoe Jenkins.* And yes, I will review it — though I will of course mention that I could not endure the whole thing. I don’t think it’s unfair to judge the movie as I experienced it, as long as I’m upfront about the fact that I didn’t sit through all the way to the end.

  • MBI

    “Roscoe Jenkins” is directed by Malcolm D. Lee, who is Spike Lee’s cousin and has made a number of interesting, non-brainless African-American comedies such as “Roll Bounce,” “Undercover Brother,” and “The Best Man.” That was what largely prevented me from making that my guess. I mean, granted, it does star Martin Lawrence, who long ago descended into being a third-rate wannabe of Eddie Murphy at his worst, but still. Spike Lee’s cousin, y’all.

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